John Tierney

John's Final Thought

2008-04-12T10:26:00.000-07:00

This whole master cleanse nonsense if finally over. At first, I was curious and interested in the whole thing, but by the end I was so glad it was over. I've reached the conclusion that the whole thing was defintely not healthy. I didn't really feel all that much better, although I definitely lost weight. That's cool, but I think I lost too much weight, too quickly. Don't get me wrong, I don't look like a famine victim, but I just don't think it's healthy to not eat solid foods for an entire week. You all probably agree.

Either way, I don't really regret doing it, I just wouldn't do it again. There were some positive aspects, like realizing how much junk we eat on a regular basis (a lot!). So maybe I'll eat a little healthier because of this, and that would be a good thing.

When I finally ate on Friday night, the plan was to just have a salad or something like that and take it easy. Well, that didn't happen, in no small part because of a little peer pressure from Aidan and Max. Instead, I ended up eating a few chicken wings, a burger (turkey, not beef), mashed potatoes, too many of Meghan's fries and a chicken strip. Surprisingly I didn't feel all that bad after stuffing my face, although I didn't feel great either. This morning I do feel great and am really excited I can eat breakfast. I think I'll make eggs and toast.

Final verdict: don't do the master cleanse, just eat healthy on a regular basis and you'll feel a lot better about yourself.

Note: I'll post an after picture with Elissa as soon as I see her and take the damn picture.

Day 3 is the hardest

2008-04-09T19:57:00.000-07:00

Today is defintely the hardest. It kidna goes in and out with how bad it is, but I've definitely been hungry all day. Maybe that's because I haven't eaten solid food in so long (although, as it turns out, there are a lot of calories in maple syrup). Somebody had a McDonalds hamburger in the edit room today and I almost lost it. I don't even like McDonalds that much!

I'm also definitely losing weight (well duh!). I was wearing one of my larger pair of pants today and I could barely keep them up. I think I'm totally going to American Apparel and buying some hipster clothes now that I'm skinny. Where did I put that v-neck t-shirt?

As cool as it is I've lost a few pounds, it's not really the kind of weight loss that feels good. It just kinda feels empty, like, well, I'm not eating. You know how after a week of really good work outs and you fell really fit? Well this isn't the same thing. Is this just man-o-rexia that's disguised as having some health benefits? So many questions. Good or bad, two days and change left.

Food takes a lot of time.

2008-04-08T19:22:00.001-07:00

I never realized how much time I spent eating until I stopped eating. Think about it, 15 or 20 minutes in the morning pouring a bowl of cereal, plus the time you spend cause you sit down in front of the TV while you're eating it and get sucked in to one more segment of Cops reruns. Maybe 45 minutes or an hour at lunch, depending if you go out. If you come home and make dinner, that could be another hour between prep time and eating. Maybe 15 minutes to make a peanut butter sandwich while you're watching Letterman, if you're bad about eating late at night like I am. I mean we're talking about two and a half hours a day eating or making food. That's a lot! That's enough time for me to, I don't know, drive to Bend or watch or movie or read a book.

Now I'm saying this is wasted time, I just think it's a curious point. I just got home from work, and during this time I'd normally make some dinner, I'm kinda at a loss for what to do. I guess blogging is a good use of time, right?

As far as the fast goes, it was pretty easy today cause work was incredibly busy/incredibly stressful. I didn't even finish an entire nalgene bottle of the lemonade. I'm kinda hungry now (my stomach just grumbled as I wrote that line), but not unbearably. I still really want a spinach salad, but I want it loaded with cheese and bacon and walnuts and all that good stuff that negates the health benefits of the spinach. Still, I'm surprised I have no serious hunger pains to report.

24 hours and no solid food

2008-04-08T00:03:00.000-07:00

I have to admit I'm surprised I never really felt all that hungry today. Yeah I can tell right now I haven't had any food all day, but I'm not having any hunger pains or anything like that. It's just kinda a feeling.

At the same time I'm kinda wondering why I'm even doing this whole thing. Is it to be more healthy? Lose weight? See what this whole thing is all about? I'm not really sure. I'm positive that I'll lose weight doing it, but I'm equally positive it will come right back once I start eating regular again. I have been thinking it will be a good reason to start eating healthier when the "cleanse" is over. In fact of the foods I've been "craving," many have been healthy foods. Like I really want a spinach salad and grilled asparagus. Pretty good, right? I've also craved a giant hamburger and grilled cheese. (It's important to note the cravings I've had today aren't like normal hunger, it's more a passing thing where I think, man, I really want a hamburger, then it's gone.)

I'm not sure I'm sold on the fact that my body will "detox" because of this whole thing. Maybe it's all just a mental thing, like proving you can actually go 5 days or 7 days or, for some people, 40 days without food. I don't know, but maybe I'll find out.

Side note, check out Joel Klein's article in Time about doing the master cleanse. It's a pretty funny read.

Other side note, the maintenance guy today came and fixed my toilet. Probably, uh, well lets just say that's a good thing.

So far so good

2008-04-07T17:55:00.000-07:00

So far I'm hour 18 of not eating solid foods and feeling fine. I'm a little hungry, but really no major cravings to report. I got a little lightheaded in the afternoon, but nothing too terrible. I'm also almost out of my magic lemonade for the day, so tomorrow I'll make a bigger batch.

Dangerous?

2008-04-07T11:21:00.001-07:00

So the questions have been raised is this whole detox thing dangerous? I definitely had that same worry when I agreed to do this, so I did the most scientific thing I could think of and consulted google. I found surprisingly little that said it was explicity dangerous, although many doctors doubt its effectiveness or usefullness. A lot of what I read said the body is perfectly good at detoxing itself without the help of some bizarre diet. I also read that this may just have the placebo affect, and one nutritionist said it may be useful only in getting people to think about healthier eating and living.

All I know so far is the salt water tastes like ass.

The master cleanse

2008-04-07T00:02:00.000-07:00

So, I don't know exactly what I'm getting myself into, but for the 300 billionth time in history, a girl has talked a guy into doing something crazy. This time the craziness involves me not eating any solid foods for at least 5 days on a regiment known as the master cleanse. Thanks, Elissa.

The idea is to clean out all the evil toxins in my body, toxins that come from delicious things like beer and french fries and peanut butter. For sustanance, all I will be drinking is a mixture of fresh lemon juice, grade b maple syrup, cayenne pepper and water. Lots of water.

Credible celebrity endorsers like Beyonce and Jared Leto say they've lost weight on this diet, but really I don't think it's so much about losing weight, as it is about cleaning out your body. Eric's dad did this, and said he felt great when it's all over. Apparently you're only hungry for like a day, then you get this rush of energy and are supposed to feel amazing. This detox is also known as the lemonade diet, although I have serious problems with this name, because my lemonade has never before had maple syrup in it.

Now in fairness, Elissa and I made our first batch of this magic liquid this evening, and it's not all that bad tasting. It might even be considered good, although it's not replacing real lemonade any time soon. I'm assuming the maple syrup and lemon juice provide some type of good sugars so you don't die and the apparently the cayenne pepper acts as a catalyst in the detox department. If you want to know this science behind this fantastic mess, the Wikipedia page has a fairly decent explanation.

Part of the process is also taking a salt water flush every morning, and drinking something called "laxative tea" in the evening. I understand this is necessary because without it, the digestive system would stop making bowel movements with the lack of solid intake.

My goal is to blog my way through this experience, so check back here for updates. We decided to take a "before" picture, and see if we look any different at the end. Notice the "before" pic is on a cell phone, in bad clothes and taken in the harsh lighting of the grocery store. The end picture will be an airbrushed glamour shot taken by David LaChapelle, so of course we'll look more beautiful.

Look forward to sharing more in the coming days!

Party at the Moon Tower!

2008-03-17T13:17:00.000-07:00

The party 'til the 6 am streak continued right through the weekend. I officially partied until at least that late four days this week - Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. And every one of those nights was invite-only parties with open bars. What the fuck.

We really capped off the last night in the grandest of styles. After Taylor and I met the manager for the Cool Kids on Friday night at the Blender party, the guy kept trying to woo Taylor because of his advertising connections. Part of that wooing was getting us 15 passes for the Red Bull/Facebook Moon Tower party Saturday night. Yes, 15 passes. We rolled up on the list Taylor Grimes +15. Insane.

Do the math: 15 Oregon/UT Law School kids roll up on a party with free drinks until 5:30 am (too many of them vodka Red Bulls.) This is what you get. Complete debauchery.

The party wasn't all that full before the Cool Kids came on, so we were able to get up against the front rail. Our group we definitely the loudest in the front, and it was cool cause the guys recognized it. Eric's friend Ben has an encyclopedic memory and was throwing up all kinds of Cool Kids knowledge up on stage, which made for some great looks when the band would ask a question to the crowd and this nerdy looking white kid threw back all the answers. The best came though when they pulled out a Chicken Little pinata and picked Eric's friend Belle to come up and break it. They glanced right by Matt and I volunteering, but made the right decision with her. She is a gorgeous girl, we are ugly dudes, plain and simple.

The rest of the night saw more crazy acts, including an un-billed performance by Talib Kweli (although the Cool Kids manager had told us he was playing). Actually it's not that Talib wasn't on the bill, but he was playing with Idle Warship, his new group with Philly singer Res. You might know her from the song "Where do We Go" off Quality.

The rest of the night also saw a lot more Red Bull vodkas. A lot more. Like really, a lot more.

The last rock star thing we did before leaving for the night was pretend we were rockstars. I don't think I've blogged about it yet, but Eric, Taylor and I had a mission this week to invent a fake indie band and try to create viral buzz and hype without ever playing a note of music (watch out for the MySpace music page coming soon.) So let me officially announce the creation of Liquor Store Holdup, the greatest band in the game today. We're basically a indie/pop/hip hop/swing/jazz/big band fusion group. We basically kick ass.

The best part is people believe we are a band. Taylor and I and a few others were trying to get out through the back of the party, but there was a security guard blocking the gate. He told us the area in the back was an artist lounge area with a bonfire, bar and couches. We told him we were Liquor Store Holdup. He let us in the lounge. As Taylor said, "I am a-list." My ego is huge.

A few of the bands we saw at the party:

Idle Warship

Crystal Castles

Team Facelift. Hilarious, wish I would have seen more of their show. They have a guy who wore a onesie and was named Fat Jew. And I quote from him, "I bet you never expected to see a white rapper in a onesie tonight?"

DJ Z Trip

White people love the Cool Kids

2008-03-15T16:27:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when you think it can't get any better, it does. If you've read the previous post, it is clear that Friday night wasn't going to top Thursday night kickin' it with Playmates, but it still held its own.

Every afternoon seems to be filled with day parties, which seem to be almost always free shows sponsored by this company or magazine or radio station or whatever. Can I just say that I love the phrase "day party?" I don't know if this is a phrase that has always been around and I'm just catching on, but I love how people walk around this place saying things like "which day party did you catch" or "who played at that day party?" I don't know why this amuses me so much, but it does. Day party. It's like a night party where somebody invited the sun. We had VIP to a Village Voice day party. The only band we saw was The Black Keys, and even then it was only like two songs. I met this cool guy from the Portland Mercury.

In the afternoon we checked out Dizzee Rascal. As always, Dizzee did not disappoint. This show he did almost all songs from his new album, which drops next month.

Since most of the boys flew in at various times Friday night, we had quite the trick getting people from the airport. The solution was Eric stay and get them and play beer die, and Taylor and I went to the Blender party.

What we didn't know was the Blender party was deep out in the hood. Because of complicated arrangements I won't bore you with, I had to ride my own cab out there after Grimes. When I told both the cabbie and later Eric the address, they looked at me like I was crazy. I'll go lots of places for free booze, including the Austin hood.

The party layout wasn't as poppin' as some others, but the music was amazing. The first band we saw was Drive A. The lead singer could wail as good as anybody I've heard in a long time and get this, he is only 14 years old. In fact, the oldest dude in the band is 17. Check out their website and get a look. If you just heard them you would never know, until you heard the kid talk when he wasn't singing. Then he sounds like a little kid, because he is.

After the next crappy show, The Cool Kids came on. Some of you might know these guys, they were in a Rhapsody commercial and are getting pretty big. If you don't know them, consider yourself lucky I just told you about them, because they rock. (that sounded really pompous, huh?) Taylor actually met one of their managers in the bathroom talking about his STL hat, and he described them as a black Beastie Boys.

The manager is super into Taylor because of his ad connections, so tonight we're seeing them again at the Facebook/Red Bull Moon Tower party. This party is actually deeper out in the hood than last nights. Oh yeah, we're going to see Talib Kweli. That blows my mind I can watch one of my favorite rappers and drink free booze. Super cool. Look for pics of all of it on Facebook soon.

Check out the Cool Kids:

Rocking the Rabbit

2008-03-14T17:45:00.001-07:00

You hear stories and see TV shows about Playboy parties and how legendary they are and this and that. Sometimes you think 'yeah, that looks awesome' or maybe 'how over-hyped,' but it's hard to tell. Well, if you're with Taylor and Eric at SXSW, then I can with complete certainty say Playboy parties are one of the greatest things on the planet. Free booze, free food, amazingly gorgeous women, cool dudes, great music, ends at 5:30 in the morning. Sounds like my kind of place.

The night started with the line "I've never felt so cool in my life," a phrase that followed us being allowed to bypasspast the growing line. Being an invite-only party, everyone there was a pretty well-connected person, or at least knew someone who is well-connected. These are not the kind of people who like standing in line, so naturally everyone was upset there was a long line, even though we all had names on the list. Well Grimes called up his rep to complain, and she told us to come to the front. I was skeptical the plan would work because all the event planners kept saying "everybody stands in line, no matter what." But being the baller he is, we were whisked right by the line and brought into the still empty party. Pretty cool.

Inside the warehouse were several hosted bars, a big set up to play Guitar Hero, a lounge area with seats and Playboy bunny pillows and then the concert area. We scoped it out, got some red bull vodkas (or rather "bunny bull" and vodka, because it was Playboy brand energy drink) and chilled. Then the playmates showed up.

These weren't just your run of the mill bunnies, these were legit Playboy Playmates, as in Miss March 2008 and so on. And they were gorgeous. Beyond gorgeous. Also pretty cool to talk to, that's if you weren't scared by the secret service-esqe security guards who followed them around.

Being Rock the Rabbit, the music was pretty insane, especially the first band called The Heavy. These brits were fucking amazing. Check out their video I posted down at the bottom. Super fun to rock out to when you're standing next to a Playmate.

Moby was also amazing. The light show was blinding, the music deafening and I was pretty drunk, so you can imagine. Eric and Taylor even went up on stage with him (they were looking for me, and thought I might be up there I guess).

Carson Daly was there. Eric was talking with him when I walked up an introduced myself. Being pretty tipsy, I told him I had seen him back in the day on TRL when I was in NYC one time and that I thought he was a tool back then, but now his show is really cool. He told me he agreed that he's a lot happier now, although he might have been appeasing me. I'm not sure. I might have pissed him off. I did tell him he used to be a tool. Would you be pissed?

All told, easily the best party I've ever been to. No questions asked.

The Heavy:

Taking it easy, or not

2008-03-13T08:26:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday was our "take it easy" day as we rested up for today. Taking it easy consists of sitting outside at the bar Esquire mag called the best bar in America and drinking about 8 rounds of bud light then going to play shuffleboard. Well also stumbled upon these lovely ladies hawking, of all things, eyedrops. Eric fell in love. He won't stop talking about them. They are pretty hot, though, so I'm ok with it.

Today the entire pardigm shifts. I'm a little scared. By the time the day is over I might also be scarred. NPR Music party all day (althogh with no VIP passes, which I'm a little mad about) featuring Vampire Weekend, aka my new favorite band. In fact all you people at home can watch along, cause NPR is streaming the show online! Very cool, I think. Vampire Weekend really kicks ass. They're a group of dudes from New York who play rock music, but they use all kinds of crazy rhythyms from all over the world. It's a trip and reallly cool. Check them out.

NPR is child's play comapred to Playboy. Eric, Taylor and I are now officially confirmed on the list for the Playboy Rock the Rabbit party tonight, and the main musical act will be Moby spinning a special dance DJ set. Moby, dancing, playmates like her. I'll take it.

Maybe the NPR people will be at Playboy tonight, too? Terri Gross interviewing playmates, Andrew Theen? Who knows.

Welcome to Austin

2008-03-12T08:41:00.001-07:00

Ahh, where to begin? I'm 20 hours deep into Texas and what a trip it's been so far. As any of the scores of you who received semi-coherent text messages from me last night can attest, I got a teeny bit drunk, but really, it wasn't my fault. Blame the Independent Film Channel because their awesome party had an open top-shelf bar (once again, many of you probably heard this in text messages last night). Being the stud that he is, Grimes hooked us up with wristbands to the IFC party. Yo La Tengo and My Morning Jacket were playing and tore it up. I hadn't really heard either band before, but I'll be hitting them up on iTunes as soon as I get home.

Besides the show, the Austin experience so far has been pretty typical, hitting the must-see spots. BBQ lunch at Stubbs (great sausage sandwich), drinks on Sixth Street (super cool billiards club) and drunken Mexican food at 2 a.m. (I have a feeling this will happen a lot). Then again, there is nothing typical about a town where 1,600 bands all descend at the same time. Take seeing Michael Stipe walking down the street. Of course being the TV producer I am, I saw a crew fliming something and was paying more attention to the actually taping when Eric yelled out "that's Michael Stipe!!! Pretty cool.

Looking on to the future, there are great things again. Dizzee Rascal later this week, Talib Kweli and Ice Cube possibly with VIP pass on Saturday. My new fave band Vampire Weekend tomorrow.

But the creme de la creme will certainly come on Thursday when we go to the party that seems to be the talk of the town, the Playboy Rock the Rabbit party. Grimes (the man, the legend) has our names on the list for the invite-only fete where Eric will hit on several girls that look like this. Yes, Miss May 2007 is scheduled to show up. No word yet on if PMOY and OSU Beaver Sara Jean Underwood will show up. If she does I will hit on her. Deanna Brooks(google her)is also supposed to be there. She is 33, so that will take my cougar hunt to a whole new level. Way better than those chicks at Rogue, eh Laura? Stay tuned.

A1A Beachfront Avenue - Life on South Beach

2007-12-17T09:46:00.000-08:00

"Yo so I continued to A1A Beachfront Avenue
Girls were hot wearing less than bikinis
Rockman lovers driving Lamborghinis "
-Vanilla Ice

Recovering from the weekend's hangover of all hangovers, we decided a nice, relaxing evening on South Beach was in order. What Steve and I didn't realize is there are no relaxing evenings in South Beach, no matter how much you want to have one.

While eating at possibly the worst Italian restaurant on Lincoln Ave we saw the following things, in no particular order:

No fewer than 8 full real-life models: These bitches are freakishly tall and amazingly skinny in person. You now how they say the camera adds ten pounds? Well think how skinny they still look.

A robbery in progress with police pursuit: It wouldn't be South Beach I'm told without some dude trying to steal a backpack. We were eating at the earlier mentioned terrible restaurant when I heard the crash of broken glass and saw this dude come flying by as he knocked over a menu board. As he ran by our table, his shoe somehow came flying off and the cops and security guards on bikes were in hot pursuit. We overheard a security guard saying they later caught the thief. But the real lesson I learned is that if you're stealing something in a crowded tourist trap, make sure your kicks are properly laced.

Quasi-Celebrities: There were two cameras, three sound guys and two producer-looking people following around a group of black guys and one white guy. That's right, we saw the cast of "Making the Band." They were hanging out why around where we were eating for a good 20 or 30 minutes and the whole thing was about as ridiculous as you would imagine. If only Diddy were there.

Various forms of wheeled freaks: It started with a guy riding a bike with a live rooster sitting on the handlebar and ended with a complete freak-a-zoid in a pink unitard dancing around a pole on a unicycle.

Pub crawl means you start drinking at noon

2007-12-16T10:52:00.001-08:00

Unfortunately I couldn't post yesterday because I started drinking at noon, and I just don't think that would have worked very well. We were locked in fierce pub crawl competition, Taylor and Steve's team versus the way better team with Lood and I on it. After the pub crawl, I'm beginning to wonder how anybody lives in this town and doesn't just curl up at die after about two weeks. I'm not even five days in and I feel like I'm about to just keel over.

Saturday is a blur from about 1:30 p.m. on, which is around the time I drank a margarita with a shot of tequila on the side. Even though my pub crawl team, Team Awesome, cheated repeatedly in our attempt to win the scavenger hunt and drink challenge, other teams cheated way more and ended up beating us. Oh well, at least we got drunk.

Lood, God bless his little heart, got hit especially hard by the hurricane of alcohol. The poor guy just got off a red eye, headed basically straight to the bar, hadn't slept barely at all and hadn't had a proper meal since noon on Friday. Needless to say, homeboy was pretty much destroyed by the time we made it to our last bar, which was of course Hooters. (FYI, Hooters girls in Miami are broke as hell.)

Now it's almost four pm and we're finally getting up and moving, and we're going to head down to South Beach and eat some cuban food. Unfortunately the weather kinda crapped out on us all week, but it's still 80 degrees, so I can't complain.

Team Awesome rockin' the pub crawl.

Team Ditch, aka Team Bitch, working on losing in the most glorious fashion. They are totally shitcanned by this point.

Hangin' in the Grove

2007-12-14T13:12:00.000-08:00

When you start a night in a bar where the main entertainment is organized games of beer pong, odds are good you will get thoroughly wasted. Last night proved that theory. Grimes and I won our first game against two guys who supposedly play there quite a bit, and from there on out, things begin to get more and more blurry. Eventually we moved on to a place called Sandbar, which is one of the most popular bars in Coconut Grove. We were definitely men on a mission, trying to recruit some ladies for Saturday's pool party.

There was one moment about a half hour into our time at Sandbar that the alcohol took over the night. By our estimation, we made strong moves to hit on at least ten girls, with varying degrees of success. At one point, I remember dancing with a girl, trying to talk to her. Things seemed like they were going really really well, then she asked a question (couldn't tell you what it was). I remember answering, but all I heard in my head was a jumble of unintelligible words. Whatever I said, her response was giving me the most awful look I can imagine right before she stormed away. I'm assuming it was something quite offensive. Oops.

Still, overall we pulled three numbers of cute girls, including one on a business card from the waitress that says her title at the bar is "token black girl." When we finally left at 3:30, I don't really remember much except that I was totally amazed I could get a to go beer for the way home. It was pretty cool. The scary thing is by all accounts tonight will be more ridiculous and saturday will be the king of them all.

UPDATE: After a little checking on one of the numbers which was recorded by a lady in the iPhone, it turns out there are 11 digits in it. Now we have two theories, one that I was given a fake number, or two that she typed it in wrong cause the iPhone is hard as hell to use while wasted. I am believing the second theory, and I think the body of evidence speaks for itself.

These feet have touched the mighty Atlantic

2007-12-13T17:20:00.000-08:00

We spent the afternoon getting lost on Miami beach. It was kinda cloud, but it was still 85 degrees, so how can I really complain. In a few minute we're going out here in Coconut Grove with a bunch of the local folks. Should be a good time.

Thought I'd share a picture:

Frequent Flying

2007-12-13T11:39:00.000-08:00

So the rumors have been confirmed, and our dear friend Kris Lood is flying his ass to Miami this weekend. Working in conjunction with good buddy William Shatner and the fine folks at Priceline.com, he has procured a ridiculously cheap last minute flight. He will be joining us just in time for the Coconut Grove Pub Crawl, which starts at noon and will be followed by a pool party at the Taylor/Chuka/David estate. Why am I telling you these seemingly mundane details, you ask? Well because it's not to late for you too to procure said ridiculously cheap airfare and make your way south as well. C'mon down.

Bienvenidos

2007-12-13T06:40:00.000-08:00

I've been in miami for less than 12 hours, but this city is making quite an impression. First of all, all cliches and preconceived notions aside, the women in this town are as far as I can tell, amazingly gorgeous by rule. As I said last night, in a few hours I saw 34 of the 39 most beautiful women I've ever seen, and seven of those came in the last three minutes leaving the bar. Grimes says with a straight face we haven't even seen the tip of the iceberg.

Oh yeah, there is no closing times or last calls for drinks. Steve was thrown off when one bar rang a bell, so he ran up and ordered drinks real quick, only to learn the bell was signaling a big tip. It was 3 am on a wednesday and the bars were relatively full, and yes, with scores of beautiful women in various states of dress.

Today calls for getting acclimated to Miami, scoping the neighborhood, etc. Rumor has it Kris Lood can't resist and made a last minute purchase to come down this weekend. That could get ridiculous.

Wow.

2007-10-23T12:16:00.001-07:00

A lot of TV reporters have done tough stories. Kids dying, tragedy, etc. But this might be one of the toughest stories I've ever hear of to do. Imagine reporting live in front of a burning house in San Diego County ... your own burning house. That's what this reporter at KFMB had to do. Check it out:

That's just insane, the fact he was able to even do this. That takes some serious balls. Good for him for doing this report, although I wouldn't have blamed him one bit if he decided not to do this live shot. I just hope it was his idea, not some gung-ho producer. We can get that way sometimes.

The only way you are going to believe me is if I keep writing

2007-10-17T21:32:00.000-07:00

Beth is right! Where else can you get your news at epic journeys downriver in the Colossus, see Sarah Silverman sleep with God and read my lengthy treatises on world politics -- all with gratitous typographical errors to boot? John-tierney.blogspot.com that's right!

So anyway, things are really crazy at work right now. As if all our reporters weren't leaving anyway, we just learned last week that our news director is leaving, too. So not only will we have a million new faces around the newsroom, but our boss will be brand spankin' new as well. Not really sure how it's all going to work out; could be terrible or could be a great breath of fresh air. The only thing I do know is that there is a lot of slack that needs to be picked up, and a lot of that responsibility is falling on the producers since we are down producers. Poor Max already is working a dreadful 3 am to noon shift this week, and now I just learned that the week of Thanksgiving and the week after I get to produce two shows in one day, the 6 and 11 pm. (Yes, normally I just produce the 11 and it's a full time job). I have no idea how I'm going to do it, and my boss today told me I should only need about an hour of overtime each day I double up. Fuck that, yo. If I have to work Thanksgiving and produce two shows I'm marking down so much overtime it will make your head spin and I'm going to use that scrilla to get drunk on South Beach with Taylor Grimes and Steve Hadley and it's going to rock.

Speaking of which, I am so excited for my trip to Miami. I think I really need a vacation, and I can't think much of a better place to be in December than in the MIA. Taylor Grimes is a legend, and the trip will surely be legendary. There will be many blog posts of that to come, and if they still had Audioblogger, I might just audioblog. I suppose I can always photo blog it now that I'm on MySpace.

Other random thoughts: Is this season of The Real World totally more viscious than normal? I haven't watched that much, but everytime I turn it on people are screaming. Like screaming to the point I have to change the channel cause I'm embarrased. And I'm by myself! The girls fight with the girls. The girls fight with the guys. The girls fight with Australians. At least the guys don't fight with the guys, cause guys are less drama than girls. Now a guy is talking to a sandwich, which is also weird. Also this new show with Tila Tequila is bizarre. Think typical many people fight for love of one show, except the one is bi-sexual and the many are guys and girls. And who the fuck is Tila Tequila?? Since when can you become a celebrity just on MySpace? I love it! It's like somebody saw this girl at an import car show on the hood of a broke ass Honda, realized she liked guys and girls, and said I can find a bunch of narcisscsitc lesbians and dudes to fight for you, make them all sleep in one GIANT bed and sell it to MTV for millions. Brilliant! TV producers make the world go round people, know that. For more posts on reality TV, visit a few posts down where I rave about my favorite-show-for-a-day, Age of Love. I never watched again after I wrote that, by the way.

Woohoo! The Simpsons movie is here!

2007-07-26T18:29:00.000-07:00

So far all the reviews I've read for The Simpsons Movie are really good, including a review by A.O. Scott in the NY Times that reveals him as a die hard Simpsons fan. My favorite quote is the last line where he says "In other words, I’d be willing to watch it only — excuse me while I crunch some numbers here — 20 or 30 more times." I'll write all about it after I see it this weekend. I might go online and buy my tickets right now actually.

Anyway, let me know if anyone else sees it, I want to hear what people think. I had a chance to go to the Springfield premiere party tonight, but our overnight producer won the tickets. Bummer.

I don't think I've been this excited for a movie in a long time, if ever.

Watch out for that ledge...

2007-07-24T17:33:00.000-07:00

Today was an insane day at work. I came back to lunch to the news that a dump truck at Delta Sand and Gravel in North Eugene had fallen off a little work bridge in the quarry into a channel of the Willamette River. Andy and Doug were there, but had no idea where the truck was. After driving around many roads for about an hour they gave up and just came back with some shots of the water rescue guys getting in the water and an interview from the fire department.

Back at the station we got to work trying to figure out exactly where the truck crashed by calling as many people who knew and trying to figure it out on Google Earth. Eventually I learned from my contact at the department of environmental quality that the accident was a fatality, so we knew we had a pretty big story on our hands and needed a way to get some video of this dump truck. Odds were that a giant truck was going to be in the river for quite a few hours. Helicopter being out of the question, we realized we needed a boat. So I called my buddy Ryan, who asked me to go boating just the day before, but his boat was a ski boat and wouldn't make it up the shallow channels. Nobody Eric worked with had a boat and Claire wasn't picking up (although she does know people who have boats). Then something Ryan said to me clicked: "you guys need like a fishing boat with a flat bottom." We've done stories with fishermen, I thought. Why don't we just call one of them?

Well I knew Andy and Joel did a story I set up in May with a river guide on the McKenzie, so I googled his name and found his cell phone number. Luckily for us, he was just sitting around at home drinking some lemonade or something. When I said "well, we could really use you as soon as possible" he said he would meet us at the boat ramp in 30 minutes. Perfect!

Then using cell phones, Google Earth, a little blind luck and a microwave truck, we went from not having a boat to having video on the air in less than two hours. Amazing. And I was basically lauded as the hero of the day. Even my news director complimented me, and she is notoriously rare with her compliments. I was pretty excited.

We were also the only station that got video. KEZI and KMTR had a bunch of shots of empty water, similar looking trucks and water rescue guys getting out of the water. KMTR also pissed off River Ridge golf course by just storming down the second hole to the river without asking permission. Us and the Register Guard had the decency to call and they politely told us ther was nothing to see from the bank. That saved us time and a future source. That is nothing unusual over there though, they are known for being kinda assholes in situations like this, and it honestly is reflected in their ratings and perception in the community as being second rate. Click here to see the version of the story with video.

You're in violation of your face!

2007-07-17T20:46:00.000-07:00

I really don't have much to write about, but I feel like writing so I thought I'd jot down a few random thoughts and events that have zipped through my brain lately. I guess the big news as of today is that I got a promotion at work to the 11 pm show. Next tuesday marks my one year anniversary at KVAL, so it is a good time to move up. The noon show has been a great place to learn the ropes, but it definitely is more constricting in what I can do creatively, so I'm excited to move on to something new. The 11 is the longest show Plus there are some cool things in the works visually for our shows that I can't talk a whole lot about, but I'm really excited to see how it all turns out.

The downside is I'll be moving to a night shift that ends at about 11:45 every night. It will be a drag at times I'm sure, but I'll get used to it. At least I can sleep in some days if I want and will have time during the days to get things done. Anyway, we'll see how it goes.

I'm kinda bummed the Simpsons movie premiere isn't coming to Oregon, it's rightful home in my opinion. Instead it's going to be in Vermont. That is totally lame. I'm also sick of people misusing the word "premiere". Premiere is the word for a movie premiere. Premier means the head of a government. That's your English lesson for the day.

I'm all out of things to write for now. If anyone is living a more exciting life than I, let me know.

Taming the river wild

2007-07-07T16:37:00.000-07:00

I embarked on an amazing journey and have returned a conquerer of nature. I have successfully navigated the mighty (and slightly polluted) channels and sloughs of the Willamette by Autzen stadium, sailing from the Cuthbert Amplitheater down the Willamette to Andy's house. In the middle of the night. Slightly drunk. It was awesome.

Last night my fellow explorer Andy Peterson purchased The Colussus raft from Bi-Mart for $49.99. It was to be our Beagle, brining us to the promised land of watching Willie Nelson perform and not having to pay for tickets. Putting in just below the Autzen dog park, we navigated through the murky waters eventually finding ourselves at the back of Cuthbert just as Willie was taking the stage. We drank some beers, listened to some music and life seemed pretty darn good.

After the show we paddled across the river with the intention of walking the raft back to the car. But as the last glimpes of the sun ducked below the horizon, we hatched a better idea: navigate the waterways all the way to the Willamette where we could land just behind Andy's house.

We had to pull out of the water to cross land just once before floating into the Alton Baker duck pond. With an army of geese watching, we stumbled down to the banks of the Willamette, hopped in our raft and paddled all the way down to Andy's house, drinking a beer under the Ferry Street Bridge in celebration of our accomplishments.

And that is how I conquered nature.

Some of the funniest things I've seen lately

2007-06-28T22:27:00.000-07:00

My verdict is still out on Flight of the Conchords on HBO after one hilarious episode and one mediocre episode, but this musical clip from the show is one of the funniest things I've seen in long time, depending on the street. The set up to this scene is that Jemaine and Bret are at a party. That's about it. Watch it and try not to laugh out loud, I dare you.

I've also been telling some of you about the hilarity I have discovered in the Sarah Silverman show, plus she is so freaking hot. Let be honest, she's got the cute little Jewish thing goin' on plus she is a fucking riot. Great combo. This scene comes right after Sarah seduces God, who happens to be black. The guy in the bed is God. She also ate some Bugles; she loves Bugles. The only thing funnier than this scene is her actually seducing God. Needless to say, Fox News was not amused by this scene.

Lets have a fund-rager

2007-06-25T21:36:00.000-07:00

So is this the greatest idea or what: get drunk, raise money for a good cause. AT THE SAME TIME! Behold, the fund-rager.

While possibly not invented by, this concept was certainly brought into the spotlight by Adrian Grenier (think stories in LA Times, E!, etc.) You all know Grenier as Vinny Chase on Entourage, but the guy is more than just that. He also stars in a slightly bizarre looking documentary and is an avid fund-rager. After reading The End of Poverty in his book group, Grenier and his buddies decided they were so motivated to action they would research a worth cause and raise some money. Well the cause they found was naturally Kiva (see post below).

The goal was simple: raise money for Kiva to invest in an entreprenuerial business. The execution even simpler: go to Trader Joes and buy some snacks, get some booze and charge at the door with the money all going to Kiva. Being Hollywood, the booze was provided by an easy call to Budweiser who sent over some beer girls and a keg. The TJ food was the same as us normals and the cover charge was a hundred bucks (not the same as ours would be).

Minus the L.A. glamour, this is something that could so easily be replicated it's almost hard not to do it! Your telling me I could get wasted, wake up with a hangover and still feel great about myself? Where do I sign up?

I'm going to work on organizing one, so stay tuned. Oh yeah, you can read all about Grenier's fund-rager here. It's pretty hillarious.

Damnit, Meghan!

2007-06-25T21:11:00.001-07:00

So it's a typical Monday evening, and I'm just sitting around my apartment minding my business when I get a text message encouraging me to watch the new reality show Age of Love on NBC. Now for those of you not familiar (none of you, right?!?), the premise of the show is Mark Philppoussis, the tennis player, has to pick a girlfriend ala the Bachelor. The catch, however, is that six of the women are in their twenties and six are in their forties. Alright, there's the background info.

At this point just get out all your laughter that I just spend more than an hour watching this reality dribble, but really, there is nothing else on.

Ok, back to my point, which is that the cougars are way hotter than the kittens. The kittens (that's the chicks in their twenties) are kinda boring. One of them is a dancer for a hockey team. She is hot, but c'mon, how deep of a conversation you gonna have with her? Gee, what's Jaromir Jagr like in person? Scary? Cool. And one girl has the fakest breasts I might have ever seen. She also said her personality resembles her dog's. Good job. I literally laughed out loud when she first came out and Mark said he concentrated harder than he does in so me matches not to stare at her chest. Thank God I'm in TV Land, I can do whatever the hell I want! Just kidding. Not really.

So yeah, the cougars (forties) in addition to being generally hotter are way more interesting. And more fun. And did I say hotter? I think I want to find me a cougar. But what I really want is to stop wasting my evening watching trashy reality shows.

Deportation: fun for the whole family!

2007-06-13T20:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday agents from Immigration and Custom Enforcement raided a food processing plant in NE Portland that was employing undocumented workers and rounded up 167 workers. Out of only 600 workers, only 48 had legitimate social security numbers. Because of this, 167 of them found themselves in handcuffs facing immigration and identity fraud charges.

The events that unfolded next I'm sure were quick and unexpected for the detainees. About three or four dozen who were single parents or had medical conditions were told they weren't going to face deportation hearings, but the rest were thrown on a bus bound for a federal detention center in Tacoma. Many didn't speak English and their family members soon gathered at the plant to find out what happened to their loved ones. By that time they were probably half way to Tacoma, where they will face deportation hearings. Odds are they will be deported. Who when they'll again be united with their family.

Portland mayor Tom Potter immediately criticized the raid, saying "to go after local workers who are here to support their families while filling the demands of local businesses for their labor is bad policy." Today he reiterated his comments despite wide criticism. The archbishop of Portland, John Vlazny issued this statement today:

"Yesterday's raid on the Fresh Del Monte Produce plant in North Portland is an affront to a nation whose tradition has always welcomed the stranger in search of the security and livelihood which he cannot find in the country of his origin. 167 families have been torn apart. They live in uncertainty. Many do not know where the sole support of their family has been taken. They have no idea when or if their loved ones will return. Within the immigrant community, there is a fear that raids such as this are aimed at ridding the country of a significant number of immigrants before immigration reform is achieved."

It is ridiculous that our national law enforcement priorties involve driving a wedge in families that are in our country trying to make a fair living, struggling to survive. I want somebody to explain to me how these people make my life any more difficult. I could easily argue the opposite point. Give us your sick, your tired, your huddled masses. Yeah right.

This enforcement policy is also aiming for the bottom of the problem, when we should be going for the top. It's like picking weeds by only tearing off a leaf. Why don't we dedicate our efforts to going after the top brass at Del Monte, a company that has reportedly committed many human rights violations in places like Guatemala where they actively recruit workers to illegally immigrate to the United States as laborers then don't pay them their fair wages.

Even better is the outrage people seem to have over this whole immigration issue. It's like somebody said "hey America, you can all be huge biggots and get away with it! Go crazy!!!" Some of the letters KATU received on the raids are downright scary, and I've seen simliar letters come across my desk when we do immigration stories. I would say no issue draws viewer feedback like immigration, and they're almost entirely things like "send these illegals back to Mexico!" (Mexico is apparently synonomous with all of Central and South America.)

To read a detailed description of the Del Monte plant from the Willamette Week, click here.

Why do I love HBO?

2007-06-10T22:31:00.000-07:00

The answer is because they're not afraid to allow one of the most critically acclaimed and widely loved shows in American history to end with a black screen that made me think my cable went out at the most inopportune of times. Like it, love it or hate it, you gotta admit that takes some balls.

Some guy named Johnny Salami (yeah, that's apparently his real name) who was watching the final show at the real life Bada Bing was not amused. He wanted more closure. They say the strippers stopped dancing during the 63 minute show "out of respect."

Well, now The Sopranos is over, can we have the final season on The Wire please?

Meet Anthony Maina

2007-05-30T21:00:00.000-07:00

Anthony is my new business partner. He runs a small cafe in Nakuru, Kenya. Although he is only 17 years old, Anthony has been running the cafe for the past two years and uses the income he earns to support his parents. In an effort to better run his cafe, he is enrolled in a hospitality management class to learn skills he hopes will help him open a catering business and expand his cafe.

But to grow his cafe, Anthony needed a little capital. $1,000 to be exact. He had expenses, like $520 to buy a commercial fruit juice extractor, $100 to buy some new cutlery to serve his customers and $30 to buy a commercial deep fryer. To raise this capital, Anthony turned to me. He also turned to Brian in San Diego, Kwaku in Ann Arbor, Victoria in Chicago and Kurt in Minneapolis. We are all members of Kiva, an online community that provides microfinance loans to small businesses needing capital around the developing world.

The concept is simple. Some people have money, some people need money. People with money loan money to the people who need it with the expectation of being paid back in a reasonable amount of time. Sound like a bank? That's because it essentially is. And don't be fooled, this is not charity; it's business. Kiva organizes people around who are willing to loan amounts as low as $25 to small business (usually individuals) and distributes the money to local affiliates who are in charge of dispersing loans and collecting payments.

The only catch is the original lender (me) receives no interest, but I am supposed to be paid back. For example Anthony's loans are due to be fully repaid in 18 months with montly payments. So far no Kiva loan recipient has ever defaulted on a loan. That's partially because many, like Anthony, are in loan co-ops where a group gets together to provide collateral for the loan. If one member of the group defaults, the others pick up the slack and are responsible to pay. That allows many people with little equity to get loans and also provides excellent peer pressure to stay current on payments. And in many parts of Africa at least, community pressure is an incredibly powerful tool.

I think this is just the coolest thing in the world. It is one of the most ideal ways to distribute and invest wealth across the world and isn't charity. That means we are not creating a culture of handouts and freebies, but fostering good business sense and entrepreneurship. It's creating wealth. The best part is almost anybody can participate, because the minimum loan is only 25 dollars, which is combined with other small and medium sized loans to make one large loan. Then you can go online and see face to face your new business partner, read about his or her business and track their progress. How cool is that! I urge everyone to go on and lend just $25. Think what a huge difference you can make in somebodys life with almost no effort. It's brilliant.

Don't just take my word for it. Read about it yourself from Kiva. Or how about read about it in Slate. They rated it as the best microlender on the internet. Still not convinced, try Nicolas Kristof and the New York Times. Hmmm, still not buying it? How about you trust sponsors Google, Yahoo, PayPal, MySpace or The Clinton Global Initiative. In fact, don't trust any of them. Just go online and read some profiles of the loan recipients.

I urge to to try it, or at least humor me and check out the website and read a profile. If you feel compelled, please try it out. If not, cool. Maybe you'll go into business with Nik Muhammed as he grows his butcher shop in Kabul or Hetemov as he buys goods for his food store in Azerbaijan. Uch Muon in Cambodia only needs $75 more to buy more land to grow crops, supplementing her husband's salary and her child's, who works in a garment factory.

Don't call me, I won't answer

2007-05-24T23:01:00.000-07:00

Notice to all y'all who might call me: don't. I have officially fried my phone it would appear in a golfing incident. That incident involves a bottle of gatorade that was not properly sealed put in the same pocket as my cell phone. If you need me in the evening, e-mail me at jtierney6@gmail.com. If you need me during the day, e-mail me at jtierney@kval.com or call at 541-342-4965. And fell free to call there, it's not big deal.

Also, I want/need to go back to Africa soon. I was just drinking some beers (many, as judged by the typos, of which there are surely many) with my African buddies and we were swapping stories and, well, I just need to go back. I will, soon. More on that later.

For now, I'm off to bed. G'night y'all.

Back in... Pinstripes?

2007-05-21T23:33:00.000-07:00

I only know a few Yankees fans here in Oregon, but two of them are Dirk Weishaar, a sports reporter I work with and Dave Walker, our senior anchor. The Yanks won tonight against the Sox, and of course we had the highlights on our 11 pm newscast. When it was over, the director came back on camera to Dave sitting next to Tom, and he could visibly be seen giving a double fist pump on the air. I love it. We'll probably get hate mail tomorrow, but us Yankees fans gotta represent, especially against the Bo Sox.

One down, now lets sweep the series and give ourselves a fighting chance! Go Yankees!

A whole lotta nothing

2007-05-19T20:44:00.000-07:00

What up y'all! I'm really glad to see that people still check this random and slightly inane blog despite the fact I didn't post for over a month there! So yeah, my streak of attacting crazy ass girls continues. While this past week has found no girls who pound three long island ice teas on a first date and end up falling all over her feet in front of half my friends, I have found no shortage of still crazy girls. Case in point, I met this cool girl at big rens last night. Things are cool, we're chatting, see seems normal enough (they always do!) and she's super cute. Seems good, right? Well of course there's a catch. So her friend (a mutual friend who will remain nameless to protect the innocent) had a little too much to drink and apparently ordered some drinks on a friend's bar tab, suppodedly with his permission. Another girl saw her do this and thought she was trying to steal drinks, so started bitching her out in front of the entire bar. Well the cute girl I was talking to was this nice little girl, about 5 foot 2 and seemed like she was incapable of agression. Well she saw the girl start to bitch out her friend and stepped in. Next thing I know, she is pushing the other girl and yelling. Completely shocked, I just stood there not knowing what to do. All of a sudden another friend of the girl I was talking to comes over to break it up, grabs her and says "we're going home." So just like that the a nice, innocent seeming girl turns into a prize-fighter and is pulled back to her corner. (if you followed that complicated story until now, I'm impressed.) Needless to say, I didn't even get her number. Oh well. Such is the life of John. I think I'm going to quit girls for a while, cause they all be crazy!

If I do end up meeting a cool girl, they all seem to have boyfriends (or husbands), too . I just can't win. If anyone out there in the blogosphere has a nice, cool, single friend, PLEASE let me know!

Elsewhere in the world it was Elissa's first week at KVAL and it's awesome to have another j-schooler and j432 alum to work with (ya hiz-urd A-Teezy, Sully and Gro-Jo!!!) Timmy Lane was also in town, and it was awesome to see him. Hopefully I'll meet up with him and Hump again tonight.

Um, not a whole lot else to report. Shot a pretty good game today at Laurelwood, my favorite little muni. Chipped on to within under a foot on 4 today, then Eric had to show me up by chipping it in from the same distance. Damn him. He walks up and says "All I was thinking after you shot was now I have to get it in." I hate him.

The Wire is the greatest show ever made. If you haven't seen it, go netflix it right now or pay the price. Well, thanks for reading again! You all pretty much fucking rule. I'm about to head out for another drunken night in Eugene. I'm sure I'll meet some more crazy ass bitches, which will give me plenty of fodder for a good story tomorrow.

**Revised additon:
The thing with Steve-o's roomate turned out to be nothing exciting. Sorry.

More than 6 weeks. I'm sorry!

2007-05-11T18:04:00.000-07:00

Ok, I'm sorrry because I have neglected this space so dearly, and when I read the comments of the only three people who read this damn thing I felt terribly guilty. Andrew is right, there has been plenty to rant about, such as how sleezy kezi is (and they hit a new low this week!), the goings-on in Africa and the plight of the television producer. I also have denied Chris a forum in which to rant (well, another forum, but I'd like to think one of his favorites.) I'm sure I lost some of the perifferal (how the hell do you spell that?) readers, but hopefully I'll win them back with your help.

Anyway, what's new in my life? Well I think I'm going to join the Peace Corps (this time for real, stupid Eugene Police!) I met with a recruiter today for an interview, and he liked me a lot and told me I was in pending the medical tests and the bueracratic bullshit. Bottom line is I most likely will be able to go back to Mother Africa and will probably be doing some kind of agricultural busienss development work. Imagine me in overalls riding a giraffe! How many stereotypes does that cover? (answer: 2, maybe 3) The earliest I would probably go is late October or November, and that's assuming the paperwork goes through on time. Apparently dealing with the U.S. government isn't much faster than an African embassy.

Elsewhere in the world the news biz is still good. I definitely pulled the "i'm a producer" line on yet another girl the other day, but she seemed more interested in the fact that she recognized Andy Peterson, meaning it was the first time Andy had been recognized by someone under the age of 67 who wasn't his wife. She was really cute and had very nice, um, well she worked in the pro shop at Laurelwood, so that just gives me one more reason to feed my newly rekindled golfing habit. By the way, did I tell you Steve, Eric and I are all hopelessly addicted to golfing now? It's really all I want to do. It's kinda funny cause I always loved golf, but never craved it. This week I've seriously been craving it. The girl hangs out at Rennies a lot she said, so I might be going there. Feeding three passions at once! Golf, booze, women! Speaking of women, Steve-o's roommate is supposed to be setting me up with some girl tonight who is looking for "manlove." I don't know if I can provide the right kind of manlove, but we'll see how that goes. I'm slightly scared. As I told Eric, it could either end up being awesome or terrible, not a lot of room for middle ground. The way my luck has been lately with girls, it will certainly be the latter. At least terrible makes for a great story, of which I am collecting plenty.

Anyway, I am now quite enjoying posting this, so hopefully I get back in the mood for writing blogs and you all can be entertained by my rants and 2nd-grade-esque typos.

Next time on john-tierney.blogspot.com, the results of his night with Claire's friend of questionable moral fiber and, as promised, more on why KEZI is the SLEEZIest channel is market 122.

Cue sappy music here:

2007-03-21T13:43:00.000-07:00

You can call it nostalgia, or I suppose you can call it slightly pathetic, but if you ever want a good laugh go back through and read all the things people have posted on your facebook wall over the last few years. Out of boredom and avoiding trying to figure out how I owe the government so much money, I did just that today to distract myself. I present to you some of my all time favorite wall posts with director's commentary.

From Taylor Grimes, Nov. 30, 2004: "Mr. John, remeber that time you were kicked out of the Cote D'ivoire peace talks by guards armed with assault rifles ? That was a good day." Ahh yes, how can we forget that glorious day. Nothing like having some 280 pound African dude with an assault rifle escort you out of multi-national peace talks. Fantastic.

From Meghan Lybrand, Nov 23, 2005: "tierney, it's like...how do i put this nicely? we need to effing hang out becuase i effing miss you and i need some effing theen and tierney in my effing life." Well Meghan, you knew it from the beginning, but you were slow to act. I'm sure if you posted this message now it would go something like "How do i put this nicely, I need less effing tierney in my life." Bring on the Theen, though.

From Donnie Jeter, April 21, 2006: "John, I had no idea you had a blog. Good to read." Finally, a man who appreciates genius.

From Ryan Griswold and Monica Farrell, sometime around Mardi Gras 2006: "MORE DRUNK 3rd FLOOR PARTIES ASAP!" and "I'd have to second Monica's request below. However, we will have to do something about the invasionary forces next time..." followed by this gem from Meghan: "i'm sorry i never made it to the mardi gras party" Well some people win and some people lose. Those who made it to the Mardi Gras party were treated with the most rocking, kick ass, ball busting, shit showing, drunk free-love-for-all party this city boy has ever seen. Damn that was fun.

From Taylor Grimes, May 4, 2006: "Hey John! You should do Peace Corps, you would totally love it! Oh that's right, you're a filthy criminal, and cannot be trusted." Well I'll have you know that I have officially re-activated my Peace Corps application, so I'll be keeping you posted about that here on this blog.

Well that concludes my little jaunt down memory lane. Thanks for coming with me and continuing to write rambling drunk and mostly incoherent messages here and on facebook. Keep up the good work.
--
Looking back on this whole post after publishing it, I can't help but notice it's a tad bit narcissistic. Oh well.

The madness begins...

2007-03-15T09:13:00.000-07:00

For some reason the only song I can think of this morning is "It's the most wonderful time of the year." Weird.

Now you must excuse me, I'm off to watch some basketball!

The Long War

2007-03-11T22:08:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching the latest installment of the Koppel on Discovery series produced by Ted Koppel for the Discovery Channel. This one really got me thinking, which compelled me to write some of my thoughts down here for you to read.

"Our Children's Children's War" examines the long term consequences of the war on terror, in many ways drawing parellels with the decades long Cold War fight against communism. One chapter that particularly stood out to me looked at the use of private security contractors in situations where U.S. forces are unavailble because of a lack of resources. There are about 100,000 private contractors working in many roles in Iraq, all contracted by the U.S. government. One of the most notable companies providing contracted security services is Blackwater USA. These guys are essentially a private paramilitary force, working side by side with the U.S. government. In fact it's Blackwater guards who protect the U.S. ambassador in Baghdad, not a military or Diplomatic Security force. They have their own guns, their own helicopters and their own armored vehicles. But as you can imagine, it's dangerous job. You might recognize this photograph from Fallujah in 2005. Those aren't American soldiers strung up on the bridge, those are Blackwater contractors.

Arguably they're mercenaries, but don't call them that to their face. And to me, hiring mercenaries to work on the behalf of the U.S. government is troubling because they lack the accountability of the military. I have long been suspect of the use of private contractors for this very reason. Governments are supposed to be bound by international laws and a sometimes tenuous system of checks and balances. Our government is bound by our values, i.e. our Constitution. Blackwater is not. They are accountable to profit, which when we're talking about the ability to take lives in a war zone, is not the kind of accountability I think is acceptable.

But in the documentary, Ted Koppel touched on an interesting point. One of the chiefs of Blackwater, a man who has held high ranking positions in the State Department and CIA, claimed that he could have teams of his men quickly on the ground in Sudan, set up hospitals and protect the local population from the Janjaweed militias.

This sounds fantastic. A well-equipped and motivated force able to fight the noble battle governments and the U.N. seems unwilling or unable to stop. As the executive called it, think of Blackwater as an NGO that's been in the weightroom. But there are problems: first, who foots the bil, but perhaps more importantly, who holds Blackwater accountable for their actions? What if a Blackwater were to target civillians, what would the consequences be? And would this be an offensive action, as opposed to the defensive actions the contractors and government says Blackwater and others do in Iraq and Afghanistan? Is it legal for private citizens to undertake offensive military actions in a sovereign nation such as Sudan? I don't claim to know the answer to these questions, but I wonder if in a situation like private contractors stopping the genocide in Darfur, the ends justify the means. But this debate might be a bit pointless, because it appears nobody is willing to open their wallets to see Blackwater deployed in Sudan.

If anyone wants to watch the program, let me know and I'll burn you a copy on DVD, as I'll gladly do with any doc I have stored on my DVR.

Happy Birthday Ghana

2007-03-06T15:58:00.000-08:00

"At long last the battle has ended...Ghana is free forever" Dr. Kwame Nkrumah, March 6, 1957.

Today is Ghana's 50th birthday. On March 6, 1957 Dr. Kwame Nkrumah, one of the father's of modern Africa, led Ghana out of British colonial rule and into independence. In doing so, Ghana became the first sub-Saharan nation to gain independence from it's colonial master. Of course over the next 30 years, all other African nations would follow suit.

It sounds like the party is going strong in Accra. Reports say the government spent 20 million dollars on official celebrations alone with more than 70 foreign dignitaries in attendance. I was hanging ouut with my friend Percy earlier, and he said his friends and family back home have been calling him all day telling him about all the parties. They are having a Star or two on his behalf, I'm sure. He was pretty giddy earlier thinking about how he wanted to be back home. Fantasic.
--
In other news, today was a goregeous day if you didn't already notice. Since I am working overnight tonight, Steve and I spent the afternoon on the course at Laurelwood. Our games were okay. Not great, not terrible, but just okay. Either way, some home brewed beer and a round of golf paired with some sun is tough to beat.

If you're going to San Francisco...

2007-02-25T20:43:00.000-08:00

...be sure to wear some flowers in your hair. Well, I didn't wear any flowers, but I've been meaning to blog about my trip to San Fran, so here I go. As most of you who know, I was in San Francisco to participate in one of the final steps to join the State Department's Foreign Service. (See this website if you are wondering what the hell the Foreign Service is.) Well, I didn't pass. But for some perpective, nobody I tested with that day passed either. I won't talk much about the test besides to say it was ridiculously intense. It was really a good learning experience and I'm sure will serve me well when going in for job interviews in the future, or especially if I decide to shoot for a job in the Foreign Service again.

Even though I didn't pass, I still had a great time in San Francisco. The weather was beautiful and I spent hours upon hours just wondering around the city. Strolling through Chinatown, doing a little shopping in some amazing stores, wondering slightly buzzed into a bodega full of crackheads at 1 in the monring. It was all good times. There is really nothing like good people watching in a big city, and San Fran has no shortage of characters.

So the vacation was fun, but I'm also glad to have a result - good or bad - on this whole State Department thing because it gives me a chance to re-evaluate what I want to do with my life from here on out. I was not doing that before because the Foreign Service was such a question mark. I'm happy with my job in Eugene, but I really am getting the itch to move somewhere new. I realized again this past week that I am very much a big city person and Eugene is just too small for me. So basically I'm thinking about joining the Peace Corps. Now that I'm not a criminal, that is. I met a guy in San Fran who was in the Peace Corps in Togo and he basically had nothing but good things to say about it. Well, he had bad things to say, but they were the typical bad things about living in a third world country, and in my eyes, those are actually good things. (Yeah, I know running the risk of getting malaria doesn't seem like a good thing, but trust me, it kinda is.)

Either way, I'm going to stay in Eugene through at least July because I want to put in a solid year at KVAL to have it look like I didn't just putter out on the job on my resume. Plus spring and summer in Eugene really is hard to beat. And I have some good friends here, even if they are a little weird.

That's about all for now.

Perks of the Job

2007-02-07T20:21:00.000-08:00

Working in the news is cool. You know about things before most people, sometimes before almost everybody. You get to see shit most people don't see. Girls think it is cool when you tell them you're a producer.

But today I got my coolest perk yet: Girl Scout cookies a full month before they are released. That's right, I have a box of Tagalongs in my pantry right now and have enjoyed the simple pleasure of pulling apart the gooey choclately, coconutty goodness of a Samoa. Fantastic, simply fantastic. Joel went to shoot a story about it yesterday and I wrote it. Today I saw that little bastard walking around eating what was unmistakenly a Thin Mint. So I called him out on it, and demanded my share of the cookies. If I had to write a stupid story about Girl Scouts, I better get some damn cookies. It was worth it now.

In other news, the U.S. beat Mexico 2-0 in a extremely entertaining friendly, although friendly was one of the lesat appropriate words to describe it. After scoring the put away goal in the 90th minute, Mexico's goalie tried to slide tackly Eddie Johnson as he ran across the net to celebrate with Landon Donovan. Then, after losing the game, Mexico carried on their new tradition of refusing to shake hands with the U.S. Wow, guys! Even though you haven't scored a goal on American soil in 733 minutes, show a little class. I mean you are playing in Phoenix in front of a packed University of Phoenix Stadium (yeah, the same one that also sold out for the BCS Championship) and a good 95% of the crowd is on your favor, and you're still bitter? Get over yourself. Totally classless. Either way, still a good game. Two good strikes by the U.S. amid many, many attempts by the Mexicans. The American defense was inept at times, but showed moments of brilliance in goal. Conrad was on his game, basically holding down the entire defense and having a goal.

Jimmy Conrad quotes of the game: "I'm glad the game was over, because I'm tired of eating hotel food...but that's beside the point," and "My goal was a thing of brilliance."

--

Children of Men was a fantastic movie as well. I spent even more time comtemplating that one than I did with Babel. It was truly overlooked by the Academy.

Babel

2007-01-24T18:16:00.000-08:00

I walked out of this movie and wanted to go sit in some coffee shop or bar and talk about it with someone for the rest of the night. Babel was that kind of movie. It wasn't the kind of movie where you could just go sit through it, turn your brain on standby and be mindlessly entertained. This was the kind of movie made for people who treat movies as art and entertainment, not just entertainment.

As the end credits began to roll, I was sitting in the theater by myself, pondering over the absolutely gorgeous closing shot (a beautifully executed reveal shot of the Tokyo skyline from a CU of two of the main characters) when I overheard the couple behind me talking. The man said to his date that this movie reminded him of Traffic and that he couldn't keep up with the interweaving storylines and how they tied together. I laughed, thinking about people like him whom I know. But then I realized there was nothing wrong with that, this movie just wasn't for him. No harm to me, no harm to him - except the 8 bucks he might feel he just wasted. I don't really know why I'm really talking about this, but I am. The woman, however, was pissing me off. One of the main characters is a deaf mute, and whenever the movie would go silent in one of her POV shots, she would proclaim "oh yeah, it's cause she's deaf!" to everyone within four rows. Massively annoying.

Anyway, I guess my main point is that I want just one person I know to go see this movie so I can sit and talk about it. I'll even go with you.

Internationalism

2007-01-19T20:45:00.000-08:00

I love this little anecdote, as recounted by the International Herald Tribune's Roger Cohen:

"Speaking of Iraq, I once had a hard time getting out of the country at night because the Kuwaiti border was closed. The guards were unmoved by my pleas until it somehow transpired that one of them shared my passion for the Chelsea football club. That did it: the barriers swung open and a lively conversation about goals by Didier Drogba accompanied my passage by car to the other side."

His entire column, which is about David Beckham coming to American to play football, er, soccer, can be found here, although you'll need TimesSelect to read it, but if you've ever read my blog you know that doens't stop me from linking to it.

Wine, books, HBO. Sounds like a party.

2007-01-17T18:34:00.000-08:00

So Eric is moved out now, rendering me roommateless once again. When I first moved into my new place I was really excited to live on my own, and found it perfectly enjoyable for the three months or so I was on my own. Then Eric came down for what was supposed to be only a few weeks, but morphed into three months. Don't get me wrong, I had no problem living with him, I just wasn't on my own like I had planned on. When he moved out I thought I might get bored again living on my own, but so far I'm quite enjoying living on my own again. I read more. I spend more time reading fascinating things on the internet (ie. Slate.com, which I have become slightly addicted to) and I generally find myself being a bit more well rounded. I am especially glad I am reading more, cause I have a serious backlog of amazing-looking books to read, and even more on order from El Bibliteca de Eric. Rigth now I am reading The Tender Bar, a memoir by JR Moehringer, a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist who writes about his lower class upbringing on Long Island through his graduation from Yale and onto a wildly successful career as a journalist (hence the Pulitzer). I'm sure I'll write more about the book when I finish it. That's because writing on this blog is one of my "living on my own again" goals, although based on the previous post, I don't expect anyone to believe that one.

One of the things that I have put on my list to learn about is wine. As some of you might know, for Christmas my dad bought me a case of wine. It was a mix he put together with the wine steward at New Seasons that is a sort of starter kit of fine wine. It has three wines (two red and a white) each from France, Italy, Spain and Oregon. That encompasses the traditional European powerhouses and the up-and-coming Oregon grapes. I've always enjoyed wine, and long ago moved beyong Carlo Rossi and Chuck Shaw (yes, Chuck Shaw is gross. I'm sorry to have to tell you, but you needed to hear it), but have never really dove that deep into anything besides maybe sticking my toe in the Oregon pinot pool. But with my Dad and assistant wine steward Andrew Theen guiding me, I have decdided to learn more about wine. So far I've spent some time reading about the French growing regions, an endeavor that is both endlessly complicated and endelessly fascinating. Spain and Italy have similar systems from what I can tell, although nowhere near as specific or complex. Right now I'm enjoying a spanish grenache that is pretty fantastic. Hopefully I will find travel partners on my journey into the world of wine, and I sure have enough of it, so if anyone ever wants to have a little tasting party, call me and I'm down. I even went out and bought nice glasses and a totally pimpin' wine rack, so I have that going for me, which is nice.

I hope everything is going well with everybody and that some of my readers eventually return when they realize I am writing again. I love reading your comments on my non sequiturs. I also love when people point out my endless typos, of which I'm sure there are many in the above post.

Oh -- I almost forgot. The Chargers are out of the playoffs and that is TOTALLY a bummer. But the Saints are still in, and that totally rocks. I love sappy sports stories, and if the Saints make the Super Bowl there will be hundreds of them on ESPN and before the game and I will love it. I'm over the Bears. I'm also over the AFC contenders, because I don't like teams that win all the time, UNLESS THEY WEAR PINSTRIPES!!!! If nothing else, that should get some blood boiling.

Oh, another thing. I really liked this story I heard on Morning Edition the other day. Ch-ch-check it out. I love it when reporters do fun commentaries where they can just be themselves, and this is a perfect example of why. It's so much like a blog for the radio.

Please accept my apologies

2007-01-03T18:52:00.000-08:00

I feel like I've let down some of my most loyal readers by not posting much lately. It's not that I haven't had anything to say, I just haven't written it down. In fact I've had a lot to say, so why I haven't written it down is a mystery.

So for the new year I'll write more. I'm not calling it a resolution, because that would mean I'd write a bunch this week, then next week go back not writing anything. Kinda like all those fat-asses I see running around Eugene this week. I know next week you'll be back on the couch eating Funyuns and watching re-runs of Cops while balancing a Natural Ice on your bloated gut. Wait, that sounds a little bit like my life. I should probably go for a run.

In other news, I just got back from an exciting trip to the east coast which reminded me how much I freaking love New York City. Right now in my other browser window I have job searches open for any cool job in that beautiful city. I can't explain it, but I just get some fantasic vibe on those crowded streets. I love the excitement and the people and the not ever driving cars. There is just something about being in a city that you know is creating so much all the time and being such an influence on global culture that makes you feel so tiny but also so huge. I get a similar vibe when I'm in places like Los Angeles, but you have to drive too much in that city. Too much wasted time in traffic.

Also, will bowl games now be played in February? If Fox has their way, yes. Fox sucks. They call their flying overhead cam the "ultimate picture cam." That was the best name they could come up with? Was mega cool floaty picutre cam just too much, so they scaled it back? And Howie Long and Jimmy Johnson should only be at NFL games.

Last minute shopping?

2006-12-24T21:15:00.000-08:00

Here you go everybody. Perfect for that "hard" to shop for lady.

Lightning bolt

2006-12-10T16:24:00.000-08:00

LaDainian Tomlinson might be one of the most exciting players I've ever seen--in any sport. He just broke the single season NFL touchdown record, and he did it in 13 games. Everytime the Chargers step up to scrimmage I just hope they are running the ball and I get to watch LT juke and flat out run whoever he comes up against. Or maybe they'll drop a little screen to him and he'll break on the sideline straight to the endzone. The man simply a scoring threat anytime he is on the field. My favorite part about watching him is just when you think he is wrapped up, he always manages a second effort, which often results in breaking some major extra yards.

Speaking of exciting players, the Michal Essien goal from Chelsea-Arsenal this morning was a work of art. Totally bummed it equalized on my Gunners, but the goal was RIDICULOUS!

Bring on the Pac-10!

2006-12-09T14:00:00.000-08:00

Wow, the Oregon Ducks look like a new team this year. Coming off a dissapointing and lackluster season last year, the Ducks have more energy and a new swagger that has come from some quality team wins. Last year we were a collection of good individual players; this year are a team

Anyone who was around me last year knew that I was on the forefront of calling for Ernie to be fired after he let so much talent go wasted, but I'm a believer again after seeing how he has brought the guys together this year. We simply had too much talent to be sub-500 in conference play. It also seems the core players have matured greatly since last year and have really brought the team together. Add the spark plug that is Tajuan Porter and you have a helluva team.

Before the season, the entire team went to the Bahamas where they just practiced together, played five games and really bonded it seems. Bryce Taylor has a emerged as a real leader by example, leading all the guys in a ridiculous conditioning program that makes the Ducks one of the most athletic teams in the Pac-10. Maarty Leunan has also really stepped up, pounding the inside and not being afraid to dish it out or take a three pointer himself. Versus Nebraska today, for most of the game we had four or even five players on the floor who could hit the tre, and that was without Champ Oguchi. Malik Hairston also makes his presence felt with some amazlingly athletic moves. And unlike last year, the common demoninator between all the players is that they are not afraid to pass the ball if they don't have the open shot.

The atleticism is paying off in the rebound column. The Ducks can easily shoot in the mid thirties from the field, but they stay in games by winning the rebound and turnover battle. If they start getting more of the easy ones to drop, they will be a force to reckon with.

The next real test for the Ducks won't come until after Christmas when conference play starts; a conference where the Ducks are slated to finish fourth, behind U-Dub, Arizona and an amazing UCLA team. This should get fun.

Mom of the year?

2006-11-29T22:00:00.000-08:00

Yep, the former wife of Fed-Ex, none other than the illustrious Britney Spears. Apparently Ms. Spears has given custody of the kids to Fed-Ex for a while, because she was spotted multiple times this weekend in L.A. partying with the infamous Paris Hilton. In fact, while out partying, a now fabulously rich papparozzo snapped this lil' gem:

(to see an uncensored version of this photo, click here, but be forewarned that it is not safe to view this photo within 25 minutes of eating.)

So apparently thinking of her two young children sitting at home with their deadbeat dad, who might or might not have screwed a porn star, Britney decided to share the intimate workings of her reproductive organs with the world. Isn't motherhood fantastic?

The situation has gotten so out of control that Rosie O'Donnell offered to take in Spears and the little K-Feds and raise them with her partner. O'Donnell said it would be a "nice stable environment." Oh yeah, that's the most stable environment I can think of for a little kid. Two babies living with a loud-mouth talk show host who gets her kicks picking fights with Barbara Walters while their whore of a mother drags Paris Hilton in drunk at 5 in the morning after they got down jumping Lindsay Lohan in some shady Beverly Hills alley.

Mark this day, because I officially enter my nomination of Britney Spears for Mom of the Year.

Some funny YouTube stuff

2006-11-27T20:29:00.000-08:00

This is one of the funniest shows you'll ever see:

One for the record books.

2006-11-27T19:55:00.000-08:00

Drunken text messages: $0.10 each
Four shots of Jager, four shots of Grey Goose and four PBRs: $68
Having an epic night with Hess, Roy and Eric: Pricesless

Wow, Saturday night was insane. It was especially insane when you factor in that at 12:30 we were sitting at Berbati's nursing a pitcher of Mirror Pond and by last call we were blackout drunk making complete fools of ourselves on the streets of Portland. We decided we needed to kickstart the night, and kickstart we did. We definitely made it our mission to talk to/hit on every female in sight. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. Either way, it felt like DIX house was back and swinging, which is good. Oh, and Joel is proud of me.

A picture is worth a thousand words

2006-11-19T17:38:00.000-08:00

Yes, this is a picture of the most powerful man in the world wearing a silly blue kimono-like thing. Bush saw all the other world leaders wearing them and wanted to try to fit in. And whoever said that Vlad Putin didn't look good in blue?

Re: Kevin Sully

2006-11-18T19:21:00.000-08:00

jtierney6@gmail.com or jtierney@kval.com

Word buddy, word.

Also, I just want to say that today's Duck game was one of the most painful things I've ever witnessed. At least last week I got to hang out in the sun and play some golf. Damnit.

Even God probably hates the L.A. Memorial Coliseum

2006-11-15T20:10:00.000-08:00

I am big on tradition. I am a sucker for the Olympics. Those points aside, I hate the L.A. Memorial Coliseum. As most of you certainly know, I flew my white ass to Southern California last weekend to watch the Ducks forget how to score against the USC Trojans, at which time I figured it was my privilage to attend a game with 95,000 other fans at the historic Coliseum. I was excited becuse that is easily the most people I've ever seen in one place. And indeed it was awesome in size. Walking out of that dingy tunnel into the stadium was a pretty amazing site, but more on that later.

So I bought my ticket randomly on Craig's List and by chance ended up in the Oregon fan section, which was awesome. But what I didn't realize was that the Oregon fan section might have well as been in a dungeon under the stadium. Go look at that picture in the post below. You see those stands there at the end of the far endzone the added on field level? Right near the stupid OJ "What if I did it?" Simpson jerseys? Well the visiting fans were stuck in a corner behind those stupid bleachers a good 50 yards from the nearest corner of the field. It was a joke. I couldn't make out who had the ball most of the time I was so far from the game. In talking to a USC fan that I met on the plane, I learned that the visiting fans used to be behind the near endzone, but they moved them into the crappy corner to see those seats to the 95 year old guy sitting in front of my dad who he seriously thought might keel over and die at any minute. Ridiculous. At one point in the game, an Oregon fan decided we should start a grassroots letter campaign to complain about the seats (how Eugene is that?). I was hardpressed to judge ball movement because the angles were so bad and I was so far away.

The good news is that I can definitively say that the 56,000 we jam pack into Autzen is much, much, much louder than the 95,000 rich, dying dudes in L.A. watching the game.

Either way, the game was still a lot of fun. Kickin' it with Sully giving shout outs to everyone wearing green and yellow around the stadium was tight. USC was simply a more athletic team than us and they took full advantage of everything we handed them, which is what championship teams do. They had mistakes too (3 interceptions) but we couldn't capitalize. That's why we lost and they won. Kudos, Trojans.

Southern California, fool the west coast

2006-11-09T19:25:00.000-08:00

24 hours from now I'll be on my way to Los Angeles to watch the Ducks play the USC Trojans. The last time I saw the Ducks play on the road was 1995 in Husky Stadium. We beat the Huskies 24-22 and finished the season with only two losses. Before that game, I had lived in Oregon for about two years and had arbitrarily picked the Beavs as my team of choice. But witnessing the Gang Green beat the Huskies in Seattle cemented my loyalty to the green and yellow for a lifetime to come. Thinking back, it probably was a more monumental decission that I realized at the time seeing how I had no real doubts about attending the U of O, but would have rather dropped dead before going to OSU.

So anyway, I'm really excited to fly down and watch the Ducks play on the road. If we play at our full potential (a.k.a. not how we played against Cal, but rather how we played against Oklahoma) and can force turnovers the way the Beavs did, I think we have a significant chance of pulling this one out.

Let's go Ducks!

Huck The Fuskies

2006-11-04T17:33:00.000-08:00

Wow, we killed em'. I hate the Huskies soooo much.

Steve agress.

I have to vent

2006-11-02T22:58:00.000-08:00

I am laying in bed right now listening to the BBC World Service and they are with President Bush as he is on some campaign stop in Georgia and earlier in Billings, Montana. I can't take it anymore. With all due respect, Mr. President, [expletive deleted] you. I can see your snide little face with that stupid grin talking about how gays shouldn't get married. Are you joking me? Gays getting married? It's nothing but a distraction. [expletive deleted] you, Mr. President. How can you sit there soaking in the roars of the crowd as Americans are literally getting blown up in a frivolous war half a world away? Where do you get the nerve take praise right now? Last month 103 Americans were killed in Iraq. How many more were hit by the dirty, jagged shards of steel as a IED ripped through their humvee? How many more lost their legs, or their arms or were paralyzed? And there you are, the man who put them there, waving and kissing babies as thousands of brainwashed zombies cheer mindlessly like your fucking Mick Jagger. I literally feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it.

I'm sorry, because this is one of the least elegant and ranting posts I can remember writing, but I think I hit my tipping point today. But I just can't stand having these imbeciles sending my peers off to die. We have blood on our hands.

Just heard on the radio, five more dead today. Think of five people you know. Now pretend they all just died. Three were in their car when it was ripped to pieces by a homemade bomb and two were shot.

World's biggest asshole

2006-10-31T20:45:00.000-08:00

Yep, that's me. Why, you ask? Because I probably ruined this little kids Halloweeen, or at least contributed to the demise of the night, anway. I was sitting at home tonight, watching the evening news, when I got a little knock at my door. Normal enough; in the past couple of days political cavnassers have been making the rounds. But when I opened the door, there was this little kid dressed up in his little fireman outfit, complete with little hat and badge.

John's thoughts: "Oh shit! I don't have any Halloween candy!"

I've lived in campus neighborhoods for the past four years where no parents in their right minds would bring small children, so I never had a need for Halloween candy. And I kinda had the same mentallity tonight, so I told the kid I was sorry, but I didn't have any chocolate or candies. His mom (she was kinda cute) told him to say "that's ok" and thanks, but instead the kid just sat there, staring at me, his stupid little orange pumpkin bucket lacking any candy. He had this look on his face like I just told him Santa and the Easter Bunny got in a car wreck and there were no survivors. With a look of detrmination, he held out that little bucket again, convinced I was playing some twisted Halloween trick. Now thoroughly embarrassed, I looked down at thim, back at his mom, and apologized again. His mom said it was ok and started to walk away, but that little kid didn't break his gaze of sadness. I tried to tell him how awesome his costume was, but it was no consolation. All he wanted was some Mike and Ikes or a KitKat, not my compliments on his costume.

So basically I felt like the worst person on the planet and ran inside to find something, anything I could go back out and give the kid. Nothing. I found a miniature mint and a granola bar. That is an insult of a treat, so I stayed inside, consumed by my own shame.

So I was balls deep in this dalmation...

2006-10-22T16:43:00.000-07:00

No, not me. My name is not Michael McPhail, the Spanaway, Washington man who this week became the first man charged under that state's new beastiality law.

McPhail's wife told police she came home the other day to find her husband on the back porch banging their 4-year-old female pitbull. Being a good wife, she promptly snapped a few photos on her cell phone and called the sheriffs. That's right, she took pictures. That makes sense really, because who would believe that your husband was hooking up with the family dog?

Can you imagine the conversation with the girlfriends later?

"Yeah, I caught my husband screwing this dog."
"Wow, she was that ugly, huh?"
"No, he was on top of Poodles in the backyard. He even bought her a chew toy from Tiffany's!"

Now McPhail faces a year in jail and is being held on $20,000 bail.

Stay classy, Spanaway.

It's always March!

2006-10-22T13:59:00.000-07:00

Just realized that CBS has provided some of the greatest March Madness clips to YouTube. Wow, I can watch classic UConn moments whenever I want? This is better than free internet porn! So for your viewing pleasure I present this little ditty from 1998. It's too bad Jake Voshkul thinks I hate him. I don't.

Also, I'm kind of a sucker for sappy sports stories, so for your viewing pleasure here is a little profile on Caron Butler. It's actually a pretty amazing story, a bit of a tearjerker.

Jet Settin'

2006-10-18T21:31:00.001-07:00

I am pumped cause I just bought my plane tickets to go back east over the holidays for a rockin' Tierney family wedding. Seriously, these things are epic. I'm talking 200 Irish people with and open bar and a band. Last time we had one of these lil' shindigs my then 12-year-old cousin ended up drunk on rum and cokes getting caught by my grandma throwing bottles off the 12th floor of the hotel we were all in. Kick ass.

Not only do I get to party with the fam, but I get to spend a day or two in NYC. Flying into JFK on JetBlue, direct from p-town, which I've heard is quite nice, so I'm excited about that. If anybody is going to be in the city during that time, let me know!

So my domestic travel bug is being nicely satiated. Next month I'm off to L.A. After that to the Big Apple. Then in Febuary, south to San Francisco. Now if only Cape Town to visit Oliver were somewhere in that itinerary...

Da Colonel

2006-10-18T08:10:00.000-07:00

The Daily Show totally ripped off my idea making fun of Da Colonel's blog. And apparently it still is online in Engligh somewhere, so my mission now is to find it again.

I'll keep you posted. Oh sweet, I just realized Lost is on tonight. Word.

A waste of cyberspace

2006-10-17T22:01:00.000-07:00

So put yourself in the situation of Steve Wynn, casino magnate: You are fantastically right, making your fortune in Vegas and naming a casino after yourself. As I would certainly do with my millons and millons of dollars, you buy the famed Picasso Le Reve. But you know, you can only look at timeless works of art so many times, so you decide to sell it. And since this Picasso is truly a masterpiece, you fetch an astronomical (and record setting) price of $139 million. Wow, you can by like 139 million junior cheeseburger deluxes with that kind of money. Life is good!

But wait, you have to get that last little bit of glory from the painting before you lay out 139 million dollar bills on the floor and roll around in them naked, so you invite over some close friends like Barbara Walters and Nora Ephron to show off the painting. "Now where did I put my glasses to fix my eye problem?" you think, but it doesn't matter because this painting is totally kick ass. So kick ass you get really excited showing it off and start flailing you arms with glee.

Riiippppppp. You hit the Picasso. Smack in the middle. Silver dollar sized hole, right there in the painting.
What do you say?

"Oh shit. Look what I've done! Thank goodness it was me."

True story.

Wynn released the buyer from the $139 millon deal and said he would have the painting repaired.

Big ups

2006-10-16T21:24:00.000-07:00

Just want to give a shout out to my girl Gro-Jo reading from work. Keeping it real Action 23 style.

Speaking of which, KVAL just this week got video on our websites, but Action 23 had that shit way back in the day. Represent.

In other news, I finally got around the cleaning my apartment today, which was good because the toilet was really dirty. Can you tell I don't have much to say if I start blogging about my toilet and its filth?

Those of you that have normal jobs (or no jobs, like most of my readers), be glad. Those of us that work in crack-head industries like television get the honor of working on Thanksgiving, the day after Thanksgiving (aka Civil War day), Christmas Eve and Christmas. So when everyone is opening presents and being merry, I'll be at work, reporting news exclusively for Jews and Muslims.

Also gonna give a big shout out to S-Higginb. You want to run away with me? I'm thinking somewhere African? Yes? Please? I feel like getting drunk for three bucks and playing chase with a cute little baby goat.

Happy Saturday.

2006-10-14T11:16:00.000-07:00

On my way to Mecca. Be back later.

What gives?

2006-10-13T18:03:00.000-07:00

So my blog used to be overflowing with comments, but lately it has been pretty dry. Does anybody still read this thing? Eric is still going strong, but I think Beth and Chris have both died or something. Now the only people who post are fools like Turcott. Downgrade.

A view from...space?

2006-10-11T23:06:00.000-07:00

So I just re-discovered the unlimited entertainment of playing with Google Earth, so over the next few days I will probably post so many satellite shots on here it will make your head spin. But you can learn a lot from this, and I plan to use photographs from space to better illustrate important and influential moments in my life. If anything, you will learn about me. Isn't technology great? I love satellites. They are fun.

This is a picture of the "American house" on American House Road in Ghana, which I so proudly called home for too short a time.

A little midday excitement

2006-10-11T17:53:00.000-07:00

So nothing gets a news producer's heart beating like sitting at his desk, 8 minutes before his show, about to print scripts and he sees "Plane Crashes into NYC Buliding - URGENT" come flashing across his computer screen.

Great, he thinks. Don't they know that it is easier to do this when I have more than 8 minutes!?!

So yes, today I got my first real taste of some serious breaking news. I can't say I handled it perfectly, but I think I did a pretty good job. I got a story one and we took live shots out of NYC a few times through our newscast, so that was pretty cool.

Turns out it was Cory Lidke was the pilot of the plane, which is kind of sad. No more sad than if anybody was piloting I suppose, but these things tend to sting just a little harder when people can personalize the tragedy, even if it is through celebrities.

Also stings a little more when halfway through the show the location in NYC of the crash hits me. One block from my cousin's apartment where I stayed when I went to visit. Needless to say I called her on my lunch break soon thereafter. I haven't heard back, but I have no doubt she is ok.

The tall red building in the lower left is the building that Cory Lidle's plane crashed in to. My cousin's apartment is the shorter, white L-shaped building at 69th and York just to the right of center near the top. All of those buildings on the left side of the frame are New York Presbyterian, Sloan-Kettering and a few other hospitals.

Sad Saturday

2006-10-08T00:52:00.000-07:00

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckfuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Happy Saturday.

2006-10-07T13:43:00.000-07:00

Oh, and I just bought my plane ticket to L.A. Watch out Trojans, the Ducks are coming to town.

Bummer, major bummer

2006-10-04T19:42:00.000-07:00

So some sad news. I went to check Da Colonels blog because I haven't in a while, and apparently the English language site is gone! I found the Arabic one, but I didn't do so well in Arabic class and have since forgotten almost all of it, so that doesn't help much. Truly a sad day in the blogosphere.

Wake up with the king

2006-10-04T19:32:00.000-07:00

So, short of one time when Andrew and I drank way too much pinot gris....wait.....I mean never in my life have I woke up and heard Andrew Theen's voice as the first thing to greet me in the morning, but I came dangerously close today. I have my alarm set to the radio and after the second or third snooze click this morning whose voice should greet me on OPB but the A-Teezy, the vo-sot extrodinaire, Andrew Theen. Pretty creepy. He was doing some story about a debate or local political race or something. BORING!!!! Just kidding. Good stuff, really groundbreaking work.

So I went off to work in the "MSM" (that's secret blogger code!) where according to Eric I'm making a difference in the world, one noon news watching grandma at a time. This is because while they were absentmindedly knitting to kill the time before Mr. Food came on at the end of the show, I submitted them to three minutes of news from Darfur. Almost never to we spend three minutes on one subject, so I had to get special permission from my news director and luckily she bought my schtick about not enough reporting on the subject blah blah blah. So yes, changing the world indeed. But kidding aside, I was really happy about this, because she could have easily vetoed my idea and I would have done a story about Suri Cruise or some bullshit. Well, not that, but some other stuff that would have paled in comparison to the pressing issue of genocide. (You will NEVER see Hollywood news on my show, not even when Paris got a DUI, which KATU ran a freaking package about!)

In other work related news, I got a free bottle of wine in the mail today at work. Well, my assignment editor did, but she didn't know if pinot noir was red or white, so I gladly took it off her hands. It is funny cause the wine is from a vineyard called "Blue State Winery" and their motto is, "Drink conservatively, pick your wine liberally." I prefer "drink liberally, pick your wine liberally," but who am I to judge a free bottle of Willamette Valley pinot?

Past Due

2006-10-03T00:07:00.000-07:00

The Yankees haven't won the World Series since 2000. That is way too long, and I think we are due. I hate waiting.

I'm a dick, I know.

Golllllllll or Tooouuccchhhdooowwwwnnnn.

2006-10-01T16:46:00.000-07:00

I think's pretty official: Football is the greatest sport on earth. I mean American football. Rest of the world football is close behind, but since I've spent every weekend watching amazing college and NFL games, I have to give the edge to thep pigskin variety.

Oh, and Go Ducks! Seriously, did we stuff it in ASUs face or what? I could tell that we had a good game judged on the sheer number of women lining up to dance with Dennis, J.D., Jaison, Blair, Dante and the rest at Taylor's last night. Pretty ridiculous, but kinda makes me wish I were a football player, no?

Either way, big (big big big big big) game versus Cal coming up next week. Screw you Lood for going to the game. Unfortunately we are still plagued by two things: injuries and penalties. Cole Linehan broke his foot, J-Snoop had to ice up the ankle and didn't finish the game. Cameron also aggrivated an injury.

The good news: some of the replacements coming up are showing up in a big way. Walter Thurmond, who I believe is in for the injured Gibbs, had three sacks and J-Will had two touchdowns with 137 yards on ten catches, most of which came in the first quarter. The guy is a beast. (He also was there for the Mardi Gras party, cause really, who wasn't?)

On a final note, I was just watching Inside the Pac, and they showed a clip from the crappy beavs game. They had to do a replay challenge with the same ref from UO-OU game, and the stupid headset broke, so the ref had to borrow the pink razor from the girl who brought the headset out to call the booth. Good job, Pac-10. Way to validate yourself.

Get your Slate on

2006-09-23T16:27:00.000-07:00

Couldn't agree more with the article "Why I Hate Zach Braff."

Also, y'all should really read this one as well. In fact, this one is infinitely more important that the other one, so read it first. If I were a more worthy news producer, I would put this article first.

And for your viewing pleasure, below is the YouTube video linked in the article. NOW YOU HAVE TO READ IT!!!!!

Having a bad day?

2006-09-23T15:59:00.000-07:00

If your name isn't Lee Tiffin from the Univeristy of Alabama, you're not.

Imagine how bad he must feel. 1 of 4 on field goals on the day, including one in the the first OT that would have won the game. Then, you miss an extra point wide right in the second OT.

You lose by one.

That, my friends, is the defintion of a nightmare.

Move along, nothing to see here

2006-09-22T18:08:00.000-07:00

I hate people on power trips for no other reason than the fact they have power and feel they must use it.

As a journalist, you encounter this every day. Example 1: We wanted to get permission to film inside a Bed Bath and Beyond for a story we were doing. We called the corporate offices to get permission. We call, they give us the runaround a whole bunch before they finally realize how easy it will be and say it should be ok. Then they wait and wait and finally say "well, it is busy at the story." (That's funny, the manager at the actual store didn't seem to mention that. We decide to go to Target instead who have an open door policy. Good bye free publicity Bed Bath and Beyond. Hello story that might just have a giant Target logo right in the middle of it. :)

Example 2: I was driving home when a freaking convoy of fire trucks comes screaming by me. What does John do? Follow them, duh! Great minds think alike because soon my cell rings with the call "are you near this fire?" Of course I am, I'm on my way. So I finally get to this fire (it would have been easier if I had flashing read lights, too) and I don't see much cause it was a pretty lame fire, but I stop to ask this ODOT guy in the middle of the road directing traffic. Well the road is completely empty of cars except for me, so I slow down to ask him a question and he freaks out and yells at me for stopping. He then starts waving frantically as if directing traffic to keep going, but I am literally the only car on the road. I just sit there looking dumbfounfded, saying "I'm the only car here!" but he refuses to talk to me and yells at me for holding up traffic. Traffic? What traffic? Every other fool saw the fire trucks and stayed the hell away! So congratulations asshole traffic directing guy who isn't even a real cop. I hope you feel like you have done something with your life today. Kudos.

Another wasted night

2006-09-21T20:14:00.000-07:00

So being the working man that I now am, I'm giving primetime television a chance (mostly because there is nothing on HBO and I've watched The Interpreter like 50 times.) And since I'm a corporate biotch, I'm watching Survivor: Cook Islands on CBS. I normally don't watch Survivor, but I'm kinda curious about this whole racial division thing. So far it seems to just be just like every Survivor, except there are more black and latino people. Except I thought I was watching the white team, and it was actually the latino team, so who knows. Either way, it will probably be interesting to see how this plays out when they get to the competitions.

Elsewhere in my life, things have been pretty much standard operations this past week. The Oklahoma game was ridic, and I'll spare my rants about the last two minutes because they are so totally played out by now. All I'm going to say is that yes, it was a god awful terrible call, but what has not been reported extensively is that the replay system apparently was not functioning properly or something and the ref only had one angle to see, not the dozens they played on ABC and in later replays. Also, the ref's in pac-10 ball apparently don't have the ability to freeze the frame like NFL refs do, which is ridiculous. It's not like the technology is that hard to get, so why don't they have it? It seems just negligent to me (as far as negligence can find it's way into a game, that is.) Also, nothing changes the fact that the ducks capitalized on some bad calls and still scored two touchdowns and blocked a kick in 72 seconds. That is impressive refs or not. And Brian Paysinger straight thugged the secondary. No ref can take that from us, either.

Peace and love to all, and to all a good night.

Her webpage isn't that lonely

2006-09-21T20:11:00.000-07:00

One more thing, I know this is kinda dated now, but did you all hear about Lonelygirl15? Or does anybody else watch lonelygirl15 but me and the hundreds of thousands others on YouTube? Turns out she isn't real, as was becoming more evident, but is a film project between three friends who wanted to try their hand at filmaking. Turns out it was a pretty damn good first venure given their YouTube "ratings." Personally I stopped watching after knowing it was scripted, but I was never a huge follower to start with. I did notice that they advertise music on things now, and I wonder if they are getting paid for that. Probably.

For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, read this for some background. I've also conveniently put one of her "diaries" below. Go me!

2006-09-11T17:39:00.000-07:00

Five years. Doesn't feel like it.

How did nobody catch this before?

2006-09-10T20:03:00.000-07:00

Apparently Vince banged my cousin in Entourage.

From season one:

Johnny Drama: C'mon Vince, you must have broken up with someone.
Vince: No, Johnny. Nobody.
Turtle: Bullshit. What about Becky Serrano in junior high? I remember, she was crying by the lockers.
Vince: I never broke up with Becky. I liked her too much.
Eric: No, you just started banging Merideth Tierney at the same time.
Vince: Yeah, I liked her too.

Save Cedar Mill

2006-09-08T08:56:00.000-07:00

BEAVERTON, Ore. (AP) - Wal-Mart said Thursday it will not appeal
a Beaverton City Council decision to reject a proposed store at a
main intersection just off one of the busiest stretches of U.S. 26.
The retail giant proposed a 152,300-square-foot store for the
Cedar Mill area that the city council said would be a disaster for
motorists, pedestrians, bicyclists and transit riders.
Steve Kaufman, chairman of Save Cedar Mill, said he was pleased
and surprised by Wal-Mart's decision not to appeal.
He said Wal-Mart has a reputation of going to the Oregon Land
Use Board of Appeals if the company feels there is any chance it
could win approval on appeal.
"I think their decision was probably based on the City
Council's unanimous rejection of the application," Kaufman said.
Save Cedar Mill appealed the issue to the Beaverton City Council
after it was approved by the city's Board of Design Review.
Jennifer Holder, a Wal-Mart spokeswoman, said the retailer
decided that a long legal fight over the site was not in the best
interest of the company or those who opposed it.
Holder had criticized the decision to reject the proposal last
month as "a politically motivated decision."

(Copyright 2006 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

A-Teezy Fo Sheezy!

2006-09-07T23:52:00.000-07:00

I'm so stoked because my boy Andrew "A-Theen Machine" Theen had his first story on OPB today! Go to minute 17:50 to hear his groundbreaking report on the college affordability report card. He gave KVAL a run for our money on the coverage today!

Those of you in Portland can hear A-Teezy at 89.7 fm weekdays at 4:30 on Oregon Considered (or 550 am in the Willamette Valley).

Word.

A question I've often pondered

2006-09-07T22:28:00.000-07:00

Just how much can one fit up his or her rectum?

Does style make the man, or does man make the style?

2006-09-07T21:24:00.000-07:00

I'm so bored (read: alone and bored) that I just taught myself to tie a Windsor knot on a tie. Next up: the half Windsor.

It is worth mentioning that my Windsor on the first try left the wide part of the tie only about 6 inches long.

Some thoughts, in brief.

2006-09-07T18:54:00.000-07:00

I have much to say and don't feel like writing long detailed posts about all of it, so the following are some of my recent thoughts in brief:

Facebook News Feed
So everyone on facebook seems to be up in arms about this new "news feed" and "mini-feed" feature. I see their complaints, but I don't buy them. The bottom line is that Facebook hasn't fundamentally changed one bit, rather the information has become more accessible. Everything that appears on the mini-feed, you put there. If it appears on the mini-feed, it would have appeared on your profile before. So no, this isn't an invasion of your privacy, it's just a new way to see what you want people to see. What facebook has done is taken what facebook members wanted and taken it to the next logical step, but all of a sudden people are freaked out. In fact, if people don't like their info appearing on the mini-feed, they can choose to have it not show up.

So far, I have only heard one good argument against the mini-feed. Eric brought up that many boyfriends will now have to explain why they were writing on that cute blonde girl's wall while drunk at 3 in the morning.

This has become such a big deal, that Time, Wired and The San Francisco Chronicle are all covering the story.

Boise State Football
Watching a football game on that butt ugly smurf turf makes my eyes feel like they are going to bleed.

Paris "Sugar Tits" Hilton
Paris Hilton was arrested for a DUI this morning. Apparently she had been shooting a music video all day, didn't have time to eat anything (uh, is this unusual?) and went to a charity event. One margarita later, she got in her $250k Mercedes to drive home and was swurrrrvin' down the road when the men in blue pulled her over. This sounds a lot like a porn, uh, screenplay I wrote. But really, they arrested her with a .08 bac. Basically that means she was no Mel Gibson. It is barely even a DUI, so she'll probably get off real easy on this one.

To me, the craziest part of the story was that her sister and Nicky's boyfriend went to pick her up from the police station. Nicky's boyfriend Kevin Connolly! Seriously, what the fuck! Eric gets to fuck Sloane. Real Eric gets to fuck Nicky Hilton. I get to almost be Eric for Halloween but everybody pusses out. That's not fair.

Joel = Johnny Drama

Entourage
Which leads me nicely into my next point. I have been watching episodes from Entourage season 1 on HBO, and man that was a great season. Reflecting back, I think the first two seasons were better than the latest one. Great lines like "lets hug it out bitch" came out of the first season. I also think the character of Vince was much stronger then. The other characters have developed much more since then. Ari was more of a annoying jackass then than a comical jackass and Eric is much more advanced now, but I think the character of Vince may have suffered from the development of the other characters.

9-11
With the 5-year anniversary of 9-11 coming up on Monday, CBS will be showing a the documentary that was in the towers as they fell on Sunday night. If you've never seen it, watch it, because it's really a great documentary. CBS has refused to edit the content at all, so there is quite a bit of cussing in the film, as you could imagine would happen if 110 stories of building were crashing down around you. Well, the far right has come out in droves against this and now my inbox at work is swamped with complaints and threats of boycotts because of the foul language on network TV.

This is simply ridiculous. People can think whatever they want, but why do they insist on telling everyone else around how to think. If you they don't want to watch the show, don't watch the show. But I hardly think it worth the imense effort these people take to fight some in-context swearing in a documentary about a defining moment in U.S. history. Change the channel. It's that simple. Put your kids to sleep before it comes on and stop worrying about being the moral police for the rest of us.

The worst part is that Fisher, our parent company, is considering not running the doc on their CBS affiliates as some stations have already decided. That type of censoring is far more damaging, in my opinion, than a few f-bombs could ever be.

Remember how I said brief? I have been writing for over an hour. Damn.

Stay Classy, San Diego

2006-09-06T23:53:00.000-07:00

When you have 5 free minutes, watch this video. I'm serious, it's pretty insane. I'm not going to much away, because I want you to just see it, but I will tell you that people were literally watching this story over and over and over again in the newsroom today. It struck fear in the reporter's hearts and made the producers glad we stayed nice and safe in the office. It also made me scared to go to San Diego. People there seem insane.

Click on the video link near the upper right corner of the story. This poor guy really had a bad day. As soon as this makes it to YouTube I will get it up on the blog.

Hey, that's Bobby Bowden!

2006-09-04T17:22:00.000-07:00

They may have added a game to the college football season, but they are wasting no time getting right to the big games. Oregon opened with a Pac-10 game. Cal played Tennessee (or rather got trounced by Tennessee). And right now FSU is playing Miami. Holy crap. It's only the first weekend and I get FSU vs. Miami on Monday night! I love college football.

And next week we get Ohio State vs. Texas. Insane.

I also love that Allstate commercial where the guy is like "that's Bobby Bowden. I'm going to touch him."

I can change my mind, right?

2006-09-04T17:08:00.000-07:00

I said in the previous post that I thought Steve Irwin was crazy, but I want to ammend that statement. I rather hastily judged him, and although I still think he was a bit crazy, after thinking about it some more listening to so obituary pieces on the radio and reading some more about him, I have concluded that it was honorable, if not unfortunate, for Irwin to die doing what he was passionate about. There are plenty of more tragic ways for him, or anybody, to pass and if I were Irwin's family I would probably take solace knowing he died doing what he loved.

I still think it is ironic he died from a sting ray attack. Experts seem to agree that sting ray fatalities are incredibly rare.

Crikey!

2006-09-04T11:27:00.000-07:00

Steve Irwin, popularly known as the Crocodile Hunter, is dead. He was filming a piece for his daughter's show off the coast of Australia when he was gored by 7-foot stingray. As everybody knowns, Irwin has taken his life in his hands countless times before, and this time nature caught up to him.

People familiar with the animal, a bull ray, said that being gored with the barb in a major organ would be similar to being stabbed with the bayonet of a rifle.

If you ask me, at least on TV, this guy was out of his mind. Clearly he knew what he was doing, but so many times watching him he seemed to just take uneccessary risks. Remember the time he dangled his baby daughter over a live crocodile?

Irwin's death was caught on tape.

A note.

2006-09-02T20:34:00.000-07:00

Cool show on CBS right now if you happen to be reading this right away. It's produced by the Museum of Radio and Television and it's called "A Day in the Life of Television." It follows around a bunch of TV producers of all sorts...from MTV to The Simpsons to CBS News to KVAL Noon News...wait...scratch that last one. But yeah, kidna neat.

And dude, c'mon GT. WTF? Notre Damn 1-0.

I just typed Notre Damn by accident, I swear, but I'm keeping it.

Snoop for Heisman

2006-09-02T19:37:00.000-07:00

He played three quarters and had 168 rushing yards. Factor in a 54 yard kick return and you get 222 all-purpose yards. Add in two touchdowns and you get Jonathan "Snoop" Stewart for Heisman.
Did I mention he only played three quarters? He left late in the third quarter with an ankle injury and was eventually carted off the field, but don't worry, it was just a minor sprain and he and the coaches say he'll be fine by next week.

The offense was a joy to watch at Autzen today. There were a few first game jittery mistakes like an almost fumble on the very first play of the game, but they also had their share of impressive moments. Dennis Dixon showed a lot of composure threading some great passes and running in a score with a great little stutter step.

Kudos to the defense as well. Jeremy Gibbs, who most of us know as Haloti Ngata's replacement on the D-line, caused the play of the game when he blocked a Stanford field goal into the hands of linebacker A.J. Tuitele. Tutele then ran the ball back 72 yards for a touchdown. Gibbs also had a sack and forced a fumble. Not a bad performance considering you are replacing one of the strongest defensive players ever to wear the yellow and green.

It was a little bit of a bummer to be out of the student section for only the second or third time. Suprisingly I miss having sore legs and no voice after a home football game. Autzen was as loud as ever, but this time I was sitting above the top of the bowl so the sound didn't have that deafening reverberation that it has down close to the field. I don't want to sound like I'm bitching, because any time I'm blessed enough to watch a football game at Autzen Stadium I am grateful. There is just nowhere like that place to see a sporting event. The Stanford fans simply did not show up today, so the entire stadium was bright yellow and green and loud. We counted a total of seven people all day wearing red, and one guy I think was a confused Duck fan. Come to think of it, the team didn't really show up either. We had the game in the bag almost the entire way, but they could have easily made it 46-17 or 46-20.

Turns out I still freak out when Kenny Wheaton scores. My dad summed it up best when he said that it's great how 50,000 can scream and cheer at a play that is ten years old and that they have seen a bajillion times before. I love it. Did you know it never rains at Autzen Stadium? I did. That will also never get old. Also, apparently America is not the home of the brave, but the home of the DUCKS! It's those little things that college football fans share that make the games so much more fun. Counting as the duck does push-ups. Booing when the announce the u-dub score. Little bonds between me and 50,000 people who were previously strangers. I know we have all been getting into soccer lately, but I was reminded today that nothing can really beat a good 'ol college football game. (I haven't been to the World Cup yet.)

Let's look to the future. I need to get into Oklahoma. Seriously. I need to get into the Oklahoma game. I will do anything (seriosly, ladies). I have a couple of things lined up, only one of which is probably illegal, but I will get in. And I think I might have two tickets to the PSU game later in the season, if anyone is interested. No promises, but they go to the highest bidder.

Go Ducks.

GO...........DUCKS...........GO .............DUCKS!!!!

2006-09-02T10:10:00.000-07:00

Less than two and a half hours from kick off of opening day 2006, and I am pumped!!! Joel already called me at 9 this morning as he rounded up his posse of Duck fans to storm some unsuspecting Boston bar with thunder green and lightning yellow. At least from the fans persective, we are ready to trounce that good-for-nothing Cardinal.

I'll report more after the game. Go watch it. Yell. Scream. Sing. GO DUCKS!!!!!!!

Oregon News was WAY better

2006-09-01T18:54:00.000-07:00

Nobody really cares (or all you Eugenians already knew) but KMTR is probably the worst newscast I've ever seen. They are constantly running stories that we laugh about in our newsroom (nutria stabbing, anyone?). And just now, their weatherman called Tropical Storm Ernesto the wrong name! It's only been in the news for 5 days, so how can I blame him. And their graphics look like a three year old made them.

That's why we call them K-Mart

Shit, my pasta is boiling over...gotta run!

The real guitar hero

2006-08-30T18:23:00.000-07:00

This might be the single most captivating YouTube video I've watched to date. The way this guy hits the arpeggios in this song is ridiculous. I literally sat mesmerized for 5 minutes and 20 seconds.

And check out the New York Times article about the kid and the video. Pretty insane.

We need someone to shred like this on the Dix-Arsenal Elizabethan Drinking Ballad.

Tsotsi

2006-08-30T00:03:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching Tsotsi, the South African film that won the Oscar this year for best foreign film, and man I now feel depressed. But depressed in the "I just watched a brilliant film that made me really, really sad" kind of way. The same way I felt leaving the theater after watching Brokeback Mountain.

If you know nothing about the film, it follows a few days in the life of a thug -- a "tsotsi" -- in the townships outside Jo'burg. The director actually cast actors right from the township, and the performance of the title character by rookie South African actor Presley Chweneyagae was fantastic. The picture above doesn't do any justice, but he has this brilliant penetrating stare that creates so much tension on the screen inside Tsotsi. This stare makes you hate him for being so cold but is helplessly intriguing.

From a rookie filmmaker with a rookie cast, a phenomenal final product. It comes highly recommended from me.

What if I told you Entourage is the new Sex and the City?

2006-08-28T22:55:00.000-07:00

Is that something you might be interested in?

I will write more about this when I am not so freaking tired, but for now just read this. Indeed this is good news for the Entourage fans out there. Which, by the way, is damn near all of us. Beth, you are the only person I know who regularly reads this blog who doesn't watch Entourage. Medical science has yet to formally explain this, but I think there have to be some wires crossed somewhere in your head. Seriously. Even my step-mom loves the show.

Billy

2006-08-28T22:53:00.000-07:00

Free Music!

2006-08-27T19:01:00.000-07:00

Who am I to pass up free anything? But this freebie is pretty cool: Apple and Facebook are giving Facebook members 25 free iTunes downloads a week through the end of September. Now you don't get to pick the song -- they have a playlist -- but the songs I've already downloaded are for the most part pretty good. Every week has a genre. This week it's hip-hop, so once you wade through the one MC Hammer song and the Chamillionaire version of Still Tippin (who the f--- is Mike Jones?) there are actually some dope songs on there. Think: Public Enemy, Murs and 9th Wonder, Dead Prez, etc.

To get this week's song, type in this code on the "redeem" section of iTunes.

KLXRK4K7T367

The code expires Sept. 21.

Tomorrow (Monday) there will be a new playlist to get, so hopefully it is good!

Where's Bob Hope?

2006-08-26T22:59:00.000-07:00

Blessed Son

2006-08-26T22:51:00.000-07:00